Lying in bed last night as I was thinking about how terrible this demonic torment has been for months, it came to me: Look at Apostle Paul! Look at all he went through for the sake of Jesus and The Cross! He ENDURED so much! What patience and perseverance this Brother had in The LORD! After so many pity parties and begging God to take this thing away…how much am I willing to go through for Jesus and for The Cross? How much does He matter to me? Am I going to serve Him through the dark times also as I have so boldly proclaimed many times before all this happened? It’s so much easier to boast about my dedication for Christ than for me to walk it out with Him in patience when things get so tough.
All my life I’ve been quick to give up when things don’t go my way easily and quickly. I haven’t had much patience in all my 32 years on this planet.
Check out what Apostle Paul went through for Jesus’ sake.
2 Corinthians 11:16-33 (KJV)
16 I say again, let no man think me a fool; if otherwise, yet as a fool receive me, that I may boast myself a little.
17 That which I speak, I speak it not after the Lord, but as it were foolishly, in this confidence of boasting.
18 Seeing that many glory after the flesh, I will glory also.
19 For ye suffer fools gladly, seeing ye yourselves are wise.
20 For ye suffer, if a man bring you into bondage, if a man devour you, if a man take of you, if a man exalt himself, if a man smite you on the face.
21 I speak as concerning reproach, as though we had been weak. Howbeit whereinsoever any is bold, (I speak foolishly,) I am bold also.
22 Are they Hebrews? so am I. Are they Israelites? so am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? so am I.
23 Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft.
24 Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one.
25 Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;
26 In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;
27 In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.
28 Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches.
29 Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not?
30 If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities.
31 The God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which is blessed for evermore, knoweth that I lie not.
32 In Damascus the governor under Aretas the king kept the city of the damascenes with a garrison, desirous to apprehend me:
33 And through a window in a basket was I let down by the wall, and escaped his hands.
Trusting in Him and submitting to Him. Surrendering to The LORD… This video really speaks to me right now.
One day at a time. I believe God is cleansing me and purging me of the world and my carnal desires for the things of this world, known or unknown. I have fasted and done many deliverance. The demons are coming out but at a slow pace. The sexual demons are still violating me anytime 24/7 and I’m still having nightmares and annoying physical torment, but you know what… This morning I actually thank Him for what He is doing in me. I am not fully submitted to God. I am not fully dead to self. I am not truly surrendered to Him. I plan on seeking surrender to Jesus now more than ever. One day at a time. I must get into prayer alone with my Father in the quiet. It’s so easy to get caught up in this world as we are living in the technological age with so many distractions. Impatience is hard to shed when everything comes so instantly in this period of humanity. I confess I am impatient and need to surrender to God.
James 1:2-4 (KJV)
2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
So, God bless you all. I hope this helps someone. Glory to God! He revealed this to me last night before falling asleep. Praise His Holy Name! He has NEVER given up on me! He will NOT give up on YOU either!
This day, 15 years ago, I came to Christ, confessed Him before men, and was baptized into The Body. So much has happened in all this time, both good and bad, but I have grown so much from it all. To celebrate, I made these images. I think they’re pretty cool 🙂
I made these using lyrics to some of my most favorite Christian songs of today. I’ve messed up countless times in my walk with Jesus. Thank God for this:
Psalm 103:11 “For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.”
He’s been with me through it all.