Published on Jan 5, 2019
I realized that God is more than just to be feared. He truly wants a relationship with ME. He loves ME. He loves YOU. So much that He left Heaven and died on that Cross.
Jesus took the COMPLETE WRATH of God The Father upon Him. The death that I should be dying. The sentence He knew I would be guilty of thousands of years before I was born…He offered Himself up for Me. Even ME.
I just want to completely soak HIM in. I want to walk with Him and talk with Him. I want our relationship to be stronger. I want us to be closer. In fact, I want Him to draw me into the very heart of HIM. I want to be right there. I just want Jesus. He wanted me and had been waiting on me all along. He could see the path I would follow and the many dark detours I would take.
God watched over me when I got sick with a Bipolar Manic episode. I turned away from Him. He knew all of the terrible things I would do, people I would do wrong, and the suffering to come. He NEVER left my side. The verse that says He will Never leave you nor forsake you….I have experienced God in the dark.
We all come to know Lord Jesus in our own ways, on our own unique paths. Each and every one of us has a past. A story. And It matters to Him! Not just because of the wrong and the sin…but because of what JESUS wants to do in your life!!! He is the life-healing glue that put me back in place. He’s my everything. I was His Everything before I was ever even aware of it.
So I know that if my GOD has brought me this far in life, He certainly is NOT going to let me down now.
If you don’t have your own relationship with Jesus right now, today is the day to seek Him. We aren’t promised tomorrow. No one can save you but Jesus. And it is only you that can approach The Savior who awaits you with outstretched arms.
I encourage you to come to the Fountain of Living Water…you will NEVER thirst again…
Seek Jesus today.
Turn away from the sins in your life and leave the old you behind on the Cross, or repent. You are PAID FOR in full! Accept this Salvation today. If you believe that Jesus Christ is the SON of the Living GOD, then the Word of GOD says you must act upon your faith, upon your confession, be baptized, just like Jesus was in the Book of Matthew…down into the water, immersed. Jesus is our example. After we are baptized into the Body of Christ, then we must simply live faithfully the rest of our lives, walking with God.
Acts 2:38 ” Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.”
Bring your broken heart, bring your disease and sickness, bring your addiction, bring your grieving….bring everything to His feet. Actual HOPE can only be found in Christ. He freed me when I didn’t even know I was in chains…
So today I’m asking Him,
Let me experience you on a whole new level, Father. I’m ready.
A beautiful blessing by Pastor John Hagee spoken over the Cornerstone Church in Texas.
“Raise your hand for the blessing.
Now may the Lord bless you. And may the Lord keep you. May He make his face to shine upon you and may He be gracious unto you. May you walk in the knowledge that you are building on the solid rock and that rock cannot be shaken; it cannot be shattered. It cannot be removed.
Though the winds howl and the waters rage, it is well with your soul because you are in the palm of the hand of God and no man can pluck you from his hand. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad that the King is coming and your reward is with him when he comes.
In Jesus’ mighty name, AMEN!”
-Pastor John Hagee
This blessing applies to you and I as well, precious ones. These words are true. As followers of Christ we need not be afraid. Just like individual people, the generations evolve and will continue to evolve until its all said and done. That moment, when time stops at the sound of the Trumpet, what will we be doing? Where will we physically be at the time? In the blink of an eye we will be changed. Oh, how, Great is our God, and how countless are our blessings.
My dream is to hug Jesus in Heaven. Everyone there will have eternity, and we’ll spend our days together without end, so everyone can have all sorts of time with Him. I cannot imagine what it would be like to feel a physical sort of embrace of my Savior all around me. I must say that I do know His spiritual embrace personally. He’s pulled me out of violent waters, carried me when all I could do was crawl. The things that happened and ventures I took when manic in 2004 were very dangerous. I was never alone. I praise Him! Blessed be the Holy Name of Jesus Christ the Son of The Living God, and the Savior of all mankind.
No matter what sort of problems you face day in and day out as an individual, no matter how great or how small, because of Jesus, you can not only face them, but come out better off than before. The goodness of God and all that He has in store for everyone ins beyond our mortal comprehension.
I hope you will read the blessing by Pastor Hagee above. I pray you will take it in for yourself. God created us all to be happy. In this life it rains on the just and the unjust. No human being is immune to mortal affliction. It is a very crazy world, but if we choose to serve Him alone, and to trust Him…God will take us above and beyond our own dreams and plans.
Think about it.
Sending love tonight
Just an update. I am far too exhausted to post much.
In picking up where my last post left off: All has been resolved or is being taken care of.
Marriage isn’t just about falling in love.
Relationships must be nurtured to last.
I think the American Divorce Rate is like 50/50 now? Wow…
I am blessed. I have acquired so many wonderful attributes in all of the trials of my young life. There is something good to come of everything.
It was 3 a.m. and I planned last night to begin packing today. He woke me up to tell me to turn over because I was snoring. I did, but then all of a sudden I wasn’t sleepy. I was wide awake. I was just pulled from a dream. I told him what I was dreaming about and in that moment, facing opposite walls, we shared a laugh, a smile, and an I love you, despite what we both knew was coming.
I got up at 3 a.m. last night. I did some online research regarding legal stuff, and then he got out of bed as well. So, I went ahead and began bagging up all of the clothes in my closet-totaled around 10 lawn trash bags, I think. I boxed up other sorts of things in plastic totes, so many of them. I worked without stopping, and without breakfast from 4 a.m. until 9:30 a.m.
Things were intense and awkward to say the least. I mean, I went for a few hours without speaking to the one I’ve been with for five years. Not a word…
Long story short…
All is good. Life is good!
I am happier!
We did some hardcore communicating, lots of dialogue!
Our growth as a married couple is back in motion!
Successful marriage is about falling in love over and over again with the same person. I’ve not only read and heard that at multiple places, but I agree. We cannot let special things become ‘common things’. Its easy to get into the routine of things and forget why you fell in love to begin with. We must remember WHY we fell in love, always.
I believe everything happens for a reason, and that I’m still here in our home for a reason. I’m in love, and am bound spiritually, and emotionally to this man, not just in the flesh.
This is not my photo. However…my husband and I are very interested in taking a bunch of shots like this during this coming summer and maybe even later on this spring, somewhere.
Don’t give up.
No matter what you’re facing. Nothing is too difficult if you just open up.
Make yourself vulnerable.
Make yourself vulnerable to God.
*Image source: Google Images.
This morning, I arose to yet another snow covered yard, no current presence of sunshine, and the realization that my husband and I aren’t doing the best, or well at all…financially. Money is tight right now for us. We must create a new budget, with new stratagies for maintaining a positive relationship with funds. At 18, as a College Freshman, Psychology major, setting out to become a Psychologist, ten years ago it never crossed my mind that I would wind up here.
But you know what?
All of the dark times of depression and the aftermath of mania, the pain and suffering with trial and error of medications in efforts to find a balance, 5 stays at a psychiatric hospital in 2004, all the disappointments as plans were interrupted, and watching my life’s dreams slowly die, it all led me here. I am the complete opposite of the person that I planned on becoming. I am not making 70,000 dollars a year, I do not drive a BMW, I have no children, and never will… Our home is not three stories with an indoor pool, and ultimately now… NOW my definition of success has truly changed!
Glory be FOREVER to God, our Creator, and Father, and to Jesus, His Son, The Savior of mankind!!! I will never be able to praise Him enough for opening the eyes of my soul. All of the materialistic things that I desired to acquire, the career I believed I would be successful at, the earthly recognition, awards, and glory…it doesn’t matter. I am not saying that its bad, not at all. Wealth and great success are fine and wonderful blessings if you handle them the right way. I know that I am where I am supposed to be right now, and I accept this. Its God’s plan. I am not “complacent.” In all that has happened to me this past decade, I have acquired something worth far more than all the college degrees, huge salaries, BMW’s and mansions of this world. I have developed Wisdom. A wisdom like nothing else I’ve ever known. I’m a better person because things turned out this way. I am trusting in God and in His plan for my life, and am taking steps daily, asking Him for guidance, so that the next move is always in the right direction.
Lets all give thanks, despite the weather conditions, or anything that isn’t what we’d rather have today… All things happen for a reason. I have never known peace before. Now, I know peace, because I know God. My relationship with Him through His Son, Jesus Christ, brings me a joy that nothing else under the sun could! It may not be that easy of a principle to grasp… But I guarantee, if you give God a chance, He will lead you in the right direction, guide you and guard your steps.
God bless all of you today!
*Image source: Google Images..