Personal Journey

My First Ride in An Ambulance!

I went to bed early Friday night with a sinus infection. Breathing troubles and sore throats from sinus drainage are no fun as most of you know I’m sure. I tossed and turned with a few minutes sleep here or there. At 3 a.m. I opened my eyes and rose to go to the bathroom and just 3 short feet away from the bed the terrifying reality hit me that I could not breathe AT ALL! My windpipe was completely shut off in my throat. I got to the living room as quick as I could where my husband was awake still on the computer playing a game. He saw panic and the tears rolling down my face and when I showed him by motioning with my hands that I couldn’t breathe. He called 911 and they were there in minutes to put me on a stretcher, getting me into the ambulance for vitals and a breathing treatment.

From the moment I knew I was not going to be able to breathe on my own, I immediately began praying inside from the heart. No one could hear me, but my God and Lord Jesus Christ could. I repented for all of my sins known and unknown and I prayed for my family. I’ve never experienced anything like it. God was amazing and He brought Bible Verses to mind. In my head I repeated this favorite:

2 Timothy 1:12  (KJV)

12 For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.

Up until yesterday morning at 3 a.m. I’d never had a near death experience. It’s different for everyone I guess, I mean I wasn’t hanging on the edge of a cliff or doing flips on a motorcycle, but death was right there just the same ready to take me out. But you know what? My GOD was and is BIGGER. This incident has changed my life for the better. The ONE Who gives us the breath of life when we enter the womb is the same one who chooses when to take it. I am so glad that my hands are in The Hands of GOD, not only GOD, but my FATHER. Jesus Christ paid for me with His Precious BLOOD on The CROSS and now as a born again Christian, I am an heir and a co-heir with Christ. I am a Daughter of God, I belong to Him. Therefore, anything coming against me must first go through Him-it has to get past the Blood of JESUS. This is the protection of The Believer. God’s will shall be done, but there’s no rest or true safety outside the Shadow of The Almighty. The Amplified version puts it like this:

Psalm 91

He who [a]dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand].


Later on yesterday after getting home from the ER, sitting at my desk, The LORD brought back an old song from many years.

“Sick and Tired of this world
There’s no more air
Trippin’ over myself
Goin’ nowhere
Waiting
Suffocating
No direction
And I took a dive
And on the way down
I saw you
And you saved me
From myself
And I won’t forget
The way you loved me
On the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held onto you.”

“On The Way Down” by Ryan Cabrera
(Actually God held onto me!!! Thank YOU JESUS!)
God used this song from an earlier time of hardship in my life to remind me today of how much He has brought me through and how He’s The only Reason I’m still alive. I could have died this morning when my breathing was shut off inside, but He has other plans and His Mercy and Grace are so mind blowing! Jesus loves us so much. The world and the enemy send the message of condemnation, but if we take the time to read or hear The Bible, The WORD of God, we will see we are THE JOY that was set before Jesus going to the Cross!

Hebrews 12:2 (KJV)
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

GOD loves us all so very much that He gave His only Begotten Son The Lord Jesus…(John 3:16)
JESUS LOVES YOU! †

To GOD be THE GLORY!

Christianity, Personal Journey

Holding Onto Jesus

Christians, check it out. The word “steadfast” (adjective).
Resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering.
“steadfast loyalty”
synonyms: loyal, faithful, committed, devoted, dedicated, dependable, reliable, steady, true, constant, staunch, solid, trusty
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1 Peter 5:8-10
8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
9 Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.
10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.
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1 Corinthians 15:58 – Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
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We have times when we just really feel like throwing in the towel, but our Lord Jesus knows how to bring us back, to lift us up. To put His Joy back into our hearts and strengthen our faith.
Saints, we gotta hold onto our Savior and remain faithful to Him even when it seems hopeless. God is looking for faithfulness as we withstand these trials. Fret not, something good is blooming in the dark.
 Image result for focus on me not the storm Jesus
Christianity, Personal Journey

Burn Me Alive Inside…

This “spirit husband” is so stubborn to let me go. If I’m not awake being raped and molested inside, then I am living in the devil’s nightmares as I sleep. So, I can’t just take a bunch of sleeping medicine cuz that would just screw me over, I’d end up stuck in the demonic nightmares for hours.

I guess I’ve sinned worse than I know… with what’s got hold of me. The way things are, you’d think I’d had sex with the devil himself. I just want them to leave. Or I want to leave if they won’t. Ah, this sucks! Days of torment.

The wages of sin is death. Don’t do it. If you are delivered from an unclean spirit (Jesus Himself delivered me from a terrible spirit after I prayed months ago) and you return to your sin, like The Bible says, something worse will come. Sin no more. I have been living with my something worse since March and I am seriously ready to move on.

There’s more to the world than what the cotton-candy Christianity preachers around the world are teaching right now. They’re tickling peoples ears with promises that if they just sign up they will win an all expenses paid trip to Heaven, no pain or suffering involved. New car, new house, better looking body and blah blah. It’s about who YOU are and what YOU want and what God will do for YOU. Hate to break it to all of the followers of the prosperity Gospel preachers, but…God is not a genie. We don’t just order what we want like at a drive thru either. It’s a relationship. This world is a mess right now with stuff like this going on. Stuff like what’s going on inside of me and is going on with many believers right now. I thank God for connecting me with people who I can relate to in this time of darkness. It is super dark in the spiritual realm down here on planet earth. It’s only going to get darker. The Bible is without error and all is coming to pass right now.

Jesus is the only way to make it right now and certainly to make it to Heaven. He is coming soon. Hold on people, it may feel like hell to us right now but we are way wrong. This is not hell. If we are suffering like this now, I cannot imagine how people will be attacked in the coming 7 year Tribulation, and unimaginably Hell itself. Repent! We aren’t guaranteed anymore time anyway of life. God bless.

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Personal Journey

The Pruning of GOD and New Beginnings

I want to start off with these 2 verses that my Father spoke to me by His Holy Spirit today.

Psalm 63:1 (KJV)

O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;

Isaiah 43:19 (KJV)

Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.

And in the midst of this trial and my wilderness, He gave this to me:

Micah 7:7-10 (KJV)

Therefore I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me.

Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me.

I will bear the indignation of the Lord, because I have sinned against him, until he plead my cause, and execute judgment for me: he will bring me forth to the light, and I shall behold his righteousness.

10 Then she that is mine enemy shall see it, and shame shall cover her which said unto me, Where is the Lord thy God? mine eyes shall behold her: now shall she be trodden down as the mire of the streets.


So…I’ve really been going through it for a few months now. Things have only intensified in darkness up until this point. However today, when I was sitting in the car alone and praying, The Holy Spirit revealed to me and reminded me that I am a branch off The Vine of our Lord Jesus. Today I just felt like I couldn’t take anymore, like I’m at the end of it all. Something in me is dying. I am not. God is pruning me so that I may bring forth new fruit! Dying hurts and is painful, but something new will bud forth at my Father’s Hand!  What a beautiful encouragement from The Holy Spirit!

We just have to press on one day at a time when in a trial. I didn’t know much about grace, but I know a little more now! Apostle Paul said this:

 

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (KJV)

And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.


I’m learning my Father is STILL in control and in control AT ALL TIMES. Jesus is WITH ME IN THE FIRE. I am still currently in the midst of this trial, this thorn in my own flesh. Jesus is walking with me through it step by step, and He gives me the GRACE I need every day, one day at a time. Fellowship with my Creator has never been so beautiful. He is really opening me up in the darkness. But remember, HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE you! It may be painful, but Child of God, you will come out better than before! He that began a good work in you WILL see it through unto the day of Christ Jesus! As followers of Christ, born again Christians, we are being conformed to image of God’s Son. Jesus went through tremendous suffering.  We must remember that the servant is no greater than his Master.

Here a couple of videos that may help you if you are going through a dark trial or know someone who is:

Remember in The Lord’s prayer it says “lead me not into temptation and “deliver us from evil.” Pray Pray Pray! He will help you get through!!!

Matthew 6:9-13  (KJV)

After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

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addiction, Eating Disorder, God, Mental Health, Overcoming eating disorders, Personal Journey, weight gain, weightloss

My Greatest Struggle: I choose to carry my Cross. (a poem)

My Greatest Struggle

The Devil keeps throwin’ flames my way.
When my jeans are tight cuz of Chocolate Cake…

Brings me down & makes me gain weight.
It seems happiness I can no longer fake.

Sunday Mornings, its all I can take,
To just get dressed and not be late.

Time & time I’ve questioned why God did make me this way.
I fight the scales and morning walks, and the pounds just stay.

Sometimes I’m enabled, I cave, and have a bad day.
Sometimes I’m stronger, no workout delay.

I’m tired of fighting, on the ground I lay.

But, No more!
I choose to carry my cross, follow Jesus…come what may.

 

*Image via Google