Jesus blessed me to connect with a really cool Sister in The LORD this month named Cindy. She loves praise reports and wanted to exchange some with me. God put it on my heart to share them here so you can be blessed as well, Beloved Readers! ♥
Cindy Magliolo added a new photo to the album: My testimony — feeling loved.
October 11 at 11:26 AM ·
Good Morning!! There are so many awesome testimonies of God’s goodness and glory and it occurred to me that I haven’t shared ours in a while. I say “ ours” because in the Bible, when Jesus saved one, Many Times, He saved the whole household!! And He is the same yesterday, today, and always!
I grew up in a small Town in Louisiana and came from parents that divorced when I was 4 or so. I have an older sister and a younger brother that I love very much. We went to our dads house every other weekend from Friday evening to Sunday evening, then he’d bring us home. I remember a lot of fussing and fighting each time we went. We had two stepsisters there; so that made five children. I guess it was hard on them and stressful. We weren’t the best children. I remember not feeling welcome there and I overheard My stepmom tell her sister one day that she couldn’t stand raising another woman’s kids. This was so wrong to me!! I would cry at night in the bed and wonder why I was born. I remember saying “ It’s not fair!! I did not ask to be born!!” And I felt so violated that because I felt like my dad was ours first!! He was with my mom and had us children then he, for what ever reasons, decided to he out, ok! But to marry someone that did not like us or welcome us seemed so unfair!! There was even one awfully horrid argument and I cussed at her and said something so mean and hurtful! I told her I hated her ( only I used a curse word too) she said the feeling was mutual. It had gotten too bad. I remember liking to wear black and listening to a lot of hard rock music for a time.- Being really rebellious and partying. Anyway, I graduated high school with a less than desirable GPA and had begun working my junior year. I was taught that a good work ethic is so much more important than grades and to amount to anything, we needed a good paying job with benefits and the opportunity for advancement. So shortly after graduating, I went to work at Delchamps warehouse on Pride Avenue. I mention this because God has allowed me to see since then, that I was on my way to becoming more and more prideful each day that I worked there!
I started out part time and made great friends. I liked the job and worked hard and moved up over time.. There was one lady I met that I used to hang out with after work. She was a lot older but so handy! She could work like a man and knew how to take motors apart and do mechanic work even! I loved hanging out with her because there was almost nothing she couldn’t do!!She had a barn with horses and worked hard and was always doing something at her house. I would go to her house almost every day and help work on things and hang out. I learned a lot- and drank a lot, smoking pot, and cigarettes and riding horses and cussing, living carefree. She had a nephew that was younger than me. He would hang out there and helped work. I was so gullible and did not know it at the time, but I think there was some coercing and encouraging privately for the two of us to get together. He was a good ole boy and was very kind and caring to everyone. I had bought a trailer and moved it to the area while I worked. He told me he loved me and after a time of dating we moved in together. We lived together for a couple years then made plans to marry. We set a date and started planning. I found out I was pregnant. So, when I was four months pregnant, we were married. I loved him – or so I thought- and our baby girl was so very beautiful! She was the most bubbly and happy child!- and so very loving and friendly!!
After maternity leave, I went back to work at the warehouse, while my husband worked as well. We grew and quit partying. We went to the family church and did fun things. Things were great at first but over time, like most things I guess, the newness wore off and the love faded. I met a man at work that would soon become my second husband. He had two boys- 7&8, by a marriage that he was still in and I had Jessica, that was 3. He was so very handsome and made me feel loved and appreciated. I fell in love with him and split up with my daughter’s father. We moved in together, went through the warehouse closing and losing our jobs, and both got divorced. We lived together – ( did not even hesitate – even with small children!) and after two years we went to the justice of the peace to get married. I had met the man of my dreams! He was tall, dark, and handsome and made my heart race! I loved his boys and Jess. They all seemed to be happy. Two years after we married we had a beautiful little boy together. He was healthy and so sweet and tiny!
Have you ever been around anybody that truly loves children? The kind of person that lights up when kids are around and wants to hug and talk to them? Even more than the adults or parents? I have such a deep love for all children! I had stopped the warehouse work and started a daycare at my home. I set up a schedule and had a learning and outside time. I loved the children and our time together and they taught me as much as I did them.
After a time, when all my daycare babies started school I applied with the parish school board office and local schools to substitute teach. So I was able to work around the schedule with our children. The children grew and I thought were happy. My ex had remarried to a lady much older that seemed to have insecurities. There were issues at his house for my daughter and suddenly she told me she wanted to go live there and go to school. I could not wrap my head around it. I’ve always been very close to my mom and when my daughter she would never call me or talk to me if she was at his house. I could not figure out why. We went to therapy for a year and I made a contract stating she could stay there for her 7th grade year and come back for high school. The therapist assured me that if I kept her from moving there, it would be catastrophic for her and my family. So, she left. At first she would visit but I would constantly nag and could not understand how or why she wouldn’t call. I cried and prayed in desperation. “ Lord please bring my daughter back! How can I be a good mom if I don’t even know where she is?” He would not. I did not even see her. The days went by and I got crazier it seemed. Redundantly I would cry and cry with no help and it got so terribly bad that I felt people would run from me. I saw her once and asked her why she did not return my phone calls. She told me “ because I didn’t want to talk to you.” It hurt so terribly bad. My heart was broken and I wanted to die. I had tried suicide once before and it failed. It had made me sicker than I’ve ever been in my life! So that was not an option. I thought about murder. I thought “ I could go kill that stepmom and my baby would be free. Even if I go to jail, the stepmom could not control my baby anymore or brainwash her to keep her from loving us or us seeing her.” These awful thoughts would come into my mind and I even had a day planned to go do it. Suddenly I began to hear a still small voice in my mind “ if you don’t forgive her I will not forgive you!” 😱 and each time I entertained those wicked thoughts this voice would come!! I knew it was true. I knew the Bible says this and somehow, even without the word in front of me, I knew that the Lord says vengeance is His when someone wrongs us. For each day that I did not think about doing these aweful things His voice got louder.. after a bit I discerned it was the voice of God. Only He says that right? Meanwhile, I’m still praying “ why won’t you bring her back to me?” I started seeing my husband and son roll their eyes and clench their teeth when I would cry. They were tired and missed her too!! In my selfishness I was not thinking of them at all!! Two beautiful men God put in my life and blessed me with that I should be so grateful for every single day!! He showed me they had unforgiveness in their hearts. When she left, she left them too- without a word- and they were hurt too- but because they are men – they didn’t cry like me! – they kept it inside! And I was making it worse because they wanted to help me but couldn’t. They’ve always helped me! And here I was so very inconsiderate and consumed by the one thing I didn’t have!! Instead of looking at all the good things Gods blessed me with! I was focused on the bad!
Meanwhile, I’m searching for answers, I open my bible. I pray and there before me – the words jump out of the page! – “ Trust in the Lord with all of Your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways, acknowledge me and I will make your path straight.” Prov. 3:5-6.
To trust is to lean on something!! To put your faith in something or someone! God wants us to do that!! With ALL OUR HEART!! And do not consider what we think is right to be the way things are! ( our understanding) but in all ( every single) way in Our Life!!- acknowledge ( admit and CONFESS ) ME ( the Great I AM !!OUR LORD AND CREATOR OF ALL THINGS!!! The BOSS! The HEAD AND BEGINNING! The FIRST AND THE LAST!!) and I will make your path straight! Meaning that’s what I was supposed to do to get through this!! Wow!!
The next time I prayed and opened His word- I was led to this verse! : I have plans to prosper you and not to harm you! Plans to give you hope and a future! Jer. 29:11. “
So Lord, if you have these plans for me then surely You have the same for my daughter and husband, son and step-children!” You love everyone!!
The following time I prayed and opened the word- my eyes were looking at “ Many are the plans in a persons heart. But it is the Lords purpose that prevails” Prov. 19:21.
That night I went to our room crying, and told God I was sorry. I begged Him to forgive me for thinking I knew what is best for my children He gave me. For ignoring the men in my life that mean so very much to me. For nagging my daughter and wanting to control everything! For not trusting in Him and His guidance and word! For not seekers no Him more or even thinking of Him or others but always thinking of myself!! I poured my heart out to Him in what would be the first of many confessions to Him since then!! And do you know what Our Heavenly Father did?
The next morning I woke up and I had a beautiful tune in my heart!! I had a smile!! I had a freedom to laugh and to think about things! With a lightness and a carelessness that I had not experienced In So very long!! I went two weeks without a tear!! Before I started thinking “ I have not cried!! 😨🤔🤗!! Wait!! When was the last time I cried?!?!” I got to figuring the days and HALLELUYAH!!! That was the very night I cried out to Jesus to SAVE ME?!?!? “ I went four more years without seeing my daughter. And although I missed her— I knew full well that OUR GOD WAS TAKING CARE OF IT!! Cause His word says HES GOT A PLAN FOR OUR LIVES!! And He loves us!! He’s real and His Spirit is here!! It came at Pentecost into the believers and it never left!! And He binds up the brokenhearted!! The truly does give the garment of praise for the spirit of despair and the Oil of Joy for heaviness! Just like Isaiah 61 says!! ❣️💕 and He is no respecter of persons!! He did it for me – and all those others in the Bible- He will do it for You!! All you have to do is ask!! My chains are gone I was set free!! Delivered!! And He absolutely gets all the glory!! 😍❣️
That was the beginning of a Beautiful journey with Him❣️ My daughter is back in our lives and I realized- I had been worshiping her! Both of my babies! We should not expect so much from our babies or people here on earth!! There’s only one perfect and worthy of WORSHIP!! Every other person or thing is created! We are sinners! We all fall, we all have messed up and let down our parents at one time or another!!We all need help and forgiveness! Daily even! But when we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive and deliverance is so beautifully freeing!! ❣️🤗❣️🤗❣️💕 Thank You Jesus for setting me free! Whom the Son sets free is free indeed!
Praise THE LORD!
He is FAITHFUL! Try HIM out and see for yourself 🙂