Personal Journey

I Should Not Be Surprised.

Sitting here alone tonight and it’s almost 2 a.m. There’s so much going on in my life right now, so many things on my mind. I see the whole world gone mad and increasing rapidly day by day. So I guess you could say it’s like this great whirlwind of heartache and chaos from beneath my very own roof extending all throughout this world. Today I took an extra nap. I admit I’ve been feeling defeated with all of these problems and people that I cannot control nor fix. But then it dawned on me tonight…

I’m still in His hands. My God, my Father reminded me of how my 14 year old Chihuahua’s health has perked up and how she has come so far in but a couple of months. It was revealed to me by Him of just how far she had come and how bad her pain was. I recalled crying in my husband’s arms a couple of months ago when it looked like there was no hope at all. My baby was walking around with her tiny frame all contorted and whimpering along. I just knew she’d have to be put to sleep, forever… But we took her to the vet to get checked out. The X-ray showed that her spine was bent in the middle (the arch of her back) and the cartilages between the disks had worn so thin at the top. He didn’t mention putting her to sleep and I held my breath.

That day my husband, my mom and I returned home with some pain medication and antibiotic for her stomach and diarrhea episodes. We’ve went back a time or two for refills on the pain meds. She still requires maintenance but looks normal now. Sort of thin. There are days when she needs her meds…but my oh my, My God breathed on my dog, my baby!!!  And some days, she runs like a puppy. I can hardly keep up when I try and meet her at the mailbox! I know she is still elderly at 14 yrs old. If the Rapture of The Church doesn’t happen first, I will experience her loss. But not like I would have. I truly believe she will be in Heaven forever with me.

I now see that I have taken this all for granted. This MIRACLE! Of course The Lord knew all about our special bond and how she’s been there all along. Since before my Bipolar diagnosis and through the loss of my dad she has always been there. Sitting here tonight in the quiet gave me the ability to really think. The Lord reminded me that if He could do such a great thing for my  tiny dog, Little Bit, how much more great things could He do in the rest of my life. I was discounting Him. The Creator of The Universe. I am learning to walk by faith and not by sight.  All for His glory. God is love itself. God is compassion. All good things come from above.

I am so grateful for the hundreds of people that cared enough to respond in prayer during that time for me. PRAYER is so powerful. It is so important. It’s so awesome that The Lord has brought me into networks with all sorts of Brothers & Sisters in Christ. In these dark times we really need one another to keep that fire going. I just wanted to share this with everyone in hope that it blesses you and may bring encouragement to a hurting soul.

If you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ, He is only a prayer away! Find love beyond measure, peace that surpasses understanding, and the comfort of The Holy Spirit today! Don’t put it off. We never know what day may be our last.

Revelation 3:20  King James Version (KJV)

20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.



Romans 10:9-13 King James Version (KJV)

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

11 For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.

12 For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him.

13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.


God bless ♥  †  ♥


Faith, Hope, Jesus, Life, pain, peace

The Blessing of a New Week. Another day. Breathing. Freedom. Life.

On the darkest of days, and loneliest of nights…when your head hits the pillow.

You’re replaying what happened. The things you wish you hadn’t said, over and over in your mind. Mistakes and heartaches.

But you know, just when you’ve pretty much given up…God in Heaven says you can do this, you can overcome.

When you’re baptized and receive the Holy Spirit who comes to dwell within you, you’re a force to be reckoned with.

Thus, “Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.” 1 John 4:4

I know this concept is huge, but because the Cross was enough-that Jesus’ Blood covers all sin, and in Him (alone) there is Salvation. Jesus Christ paid the debt of SIN for all mankind. So, if you choose to accept Jesus and be baptized, you’re then bought and paid for in FULL! Walking with Him and living faithful all the days of your life will be ever rewarding some day very soon. Oh, what it’s like to be loved and cared for in such a beyond-profound way… 🙂

blogging, Inspiration, lifestyle

Can’t Find Your Way Out?

You are more than good enough.

Check these out

Nobody’s better than you. Nobody’s perfect.

Romans 3:10   As it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one”

God created you perfectly. Every detail significant. You are fearfully and wonderfully made!

Psalm 139: 13-14 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

God is always with you.

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

You are Priceless to the Creator of all! He can and will take care of you!

Matthew 6:26 “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”

Your past erased, all sins covered freely by the Blood of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

2 Corinthians 5:17  “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

Once you come to Jesus and are baptized, all sins are washed away and you are made brand new! We are still living in the flesh, so it’s inevitable to make mistakes now and then, but because of Christ, there is forgiveness. His precious Blood covers you and lasts the rest of your days, but we gotta give it our all. We must live faithful til death. Because of His Blood, when we fall, we repent and rise up!

1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Come to the fountain of Living Water, and thirst no more!!!


current events, Jesus, Life

Empty Made Whole.

In Heaven the empty are made whole. The hurting are comforted and made strong. Everyone who ever wanted a family or just to be loved will indeed have one. Everyone will belong. There’s a place for you and a place for me. Jesus has everything prepared and He is coming soon to take us back home.

No more being lonely, facing depression, fear, worry, doubt, hunger, pain, addiction, abuse, torment, betrayal, being taken advantage of, left out…You name it. All the negativity and darkness we all know too well are soon to be gone.

Acceptance. Not only are you good enough for God…but you were to die for! God loved us so much that He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die on that Cross, with all of the wrath and deepest sufferings that we deserve in this flesh, not the Son of God. It may be hard to grasp the truth that you and I are “sinners”. We are living after the fall in the Garden of Eden where sin entered in and created a division between man and God. No matter how many good deeds we do, there’s tons more bad ones to match. We can’t earn our Salvation, a place in Heaven on our own. We just don’t have the means. That’s why we need a mediator, and that’s Jesus. Because of Love. True Love…you and I were BOUGHT at a price. We’re paid for in FULL!!! Nothing can separate us from God when we accept Jesus and come to God!

Choosing Jesus and becoming a Christian does not mean that you must never fail! The Blood of Christ covers you for the rest of your life into Eternity. Sin is canceled by the blood of Jesus, but when we make a mistake or fall down we must repent. Repentance means a sincere turning away, in both the mind and heart, from self to God. We get back up and press on with Jesus.

Look at the world today. Even the mainstream news will clue you in. 40 Active volcanoes, earthquake uptick, Israel is actually about to be divided. What is wrong is now right and what is right is now wrong if you are to be politically correct. Lawlessness. Rioting. Things are different. Check out Matthew, Chapter 24 in the Bible.

No matter what’s going on in your life, you can know peace, even now in the flesh. This is only possible with Jesus, and Jesus is the only way to God. I encourage you to think about it.


“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 18And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; 19To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.”  – 2 Corinthians Chapter 5, verses 17-19.

God bless ❤



blog, Inspirational, Life

It’s Personal.

What makes it different when your heart aches for a loved one or friend that’s having surgery for some type of medical/health complication? …When you see a featured article online about a terminally ill child who lives life simply and has only one wish, and a Go Fund Me?

What makes it different when the evening news reports a rising death toll of 5,000 in a nation oceans away from your cozy piece of home? …When you read the Obituaries in the paper and see a familiar name(s)?

When you see a homeless man in a movie on television? When your eyes meet with a homeless man on the street beside you?

When you see a LOST Dog Poster taped to a street light? …When your dog is lost?

What’s the difference?

It’s personal.

But the thing is, It’s totally personal. BECAUSE EVERY HUMAN BEING (every person on earth) MATTERS.

You may never have your name on the Walk of Fame and in lights. You may never win a trophy or receive any honors or rewards. You may never be told “I love you.” Maybe you don’t think anyone has ever loved you or you don’t feel loved. You could be in a crowded room and all alone inside. Scared.

However, somebody does love you. He’s pretty awesome and quite intriguing. He loves to send you special things along the way, when you least expect them. He’s ever so generous and wants to experience this journey called life with you at your side as long as you live. It gets even better…

He wants you to come and live with Him forever. Where He is there are no more tears.

Jesus loves you just as you were the only one.

And It’s Personal.


encouragement, God, Hope, Inspiration, Inspirational quotes, Jesus, motivation

God Didn’t Need You, He Wanted You.

This truth is beyond beautiful… ❤

Something to think about.

abuse, addiction, Bipolar Disorder, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Body Image, Christianity, God, Inspiration, Inspirational quotes, Jesus, Life, Quotes, self esteem

For the brokenhearted, struggling woman

Jesusletter13 Jesusletter11 Jesusletter10 Jesusletter9 Jesusletter8 Jesusletter7Jesusletter6 Jesusletter5 Jesusletter4























































I found all of these on Google and have no idea who made them. I adore them though! They are so encouraging. I hope they inspire and comfort anyone reading. Letters from Jesus…

God bless you, always.

Autobiography, Bipolar, Bulimia, Eating Disorder, Eating Disorder Help, family, Life, lifestyle, Overcoming eating disorders, Personal Journey, Rant, self esteem, self-help, Soul Searching, weight gain, weightloss

HALT!!! Just How Are You Feeling?

I planned on beginning my health kick today, not diet-diets do not work. Fitness/Good Health is a lifestyle. I thought I was ready to make that change and commitment today, but my emotions/moods have been slightly unstable today as I’m coming down from the Caffeine mountain. I’m eating a snack while making this post! Ahh! A good one too. No Chocolate or Caffeine in it though, for sure! The hubby is coming home soon…again I am alone tonight. Have you ever heard of H.A.L.T? I have heard it in addiction counseling. It means you need to step back or STOP and halt from what you are doing when you are one of the four things that each letter represents: H-hungry, A-angry, L-lonely, and T-tired. Lets evaluate together… Are you any or all of these?

In my current state I am hungry-not for food though. My spirit is starving for a good Sunday sermon, Bible study session, hour of prayer, freedom from the tight clutches that Caffeine had around my neck-emotional peace, mental clarity. I am starving for love. Not from others, but from myself. I am aching for a confirmation, an okay-just the ‘good to go’ from simply me. Then when I think back to the old days of teen years and early twenties, I want to be good enough. I want to be appropriate. I want to be able to shop at the mall again. Nothing there fits me now unless I go to like the only one plus size specialty shop they have there now. So, yes. In a sense I am hungry. I am feeling deprived for food for my heart, soul, my spirit. You know, even if and when I get there, at that so desired size, if I am not emotionally ready and spiritually equipped to be that healthy woman I want to see in the mirror, then I can’t maintain her.

Angry. I am not mad at anyone but myself, only if I look deep enough. I think the anger I have at myself is very deep within my core. I have to take the time and be very introspective to see it because it hides itself so well…Anger is like sadness being suppressed. So then yea, I must be upset.

Lonely-I am not lonely. I miss my family though as my most immediate members basically live 3 hours away. This causes me to have depression at times, and emotional eating. I want to go home so bad right now. I am crying inside. Balling. My spirit is clawing at my insides wanting to get out like a caged animal, in a very small, enclosed space. I know for a fact though, that I am overly emotional because of the recent drug intake. My moods are all over the place right now. Up until this point in the blog I was snacking and now that I put the rest of the food away, I as always, regret it. I regret the calories that were totally wasted, the sugar intake-the fact that both my parents and only sibling are all Diabetics. I must be stronger tomorrow. Caffeine drains me. However, I am not blaming it all on that. Emotions are powerful…

Tired…my dad is tired. I know he’s tired of being in that bed at the nursing home all of the time or being on the gurney, or dialysis chair. The only three places he gets put. The secret to weight loss and emotional eating is to get to the core of what is causing the human all of the pain, and go through each layer of hurt, and feel and deal. You cannot run and hide, or you will end up the way I have. It is time that I accept what is, realize where I really stand in the world of my physical health too and not just emotional. I am tired of missing my dad. I really think I made a mistake leaving my hometown and moving here. My husband has most of his family here, and none of them are that sick. Maybe a little regret, little resentment there, this, that? I am tired of being a plus sized woman. I am a caterpillar now, but there is a healthy butterfly living under all of the pain I am wearing. The pain my body has acquired over the last 6 years or so. The pain from my current situation in my own personal struggle with myself.

The 16 year old me would not be here right now. She would be in the bathroom catering to her eating disordered habit needs. I seriously and honestly do regret eating what I ate, but I am most certainly not about to take it there. I’ve been in recovery for 6 years and I am not throwing that away. Once you find recovery, you find clarity, but no one is ever forever immune to negative thinking forever. Its not that I am 100% absolutely free. The thoughts rarely present themselves at all anymore…but co-morbidity makes things a little more difficult—the presence of my 2 disabling psychological issues coming together against ME. One person. We must put in positive thoughts daily to make it in this world if we desire to maintain a healthy body, mind, and freed spirit.

Now that I have purged my soul of these negative things, and not my full belly…I am going to go have a good cry, snuggle with Bella, and maybe a hot shower… *blessings*


Personal Journey

Don’t Give Up, Friends…

Don't Give Up, Friends...

For those of you who are in a very dark place, or even worse, suicidal, if its killing you to look back…and its too scary and dark to see what lies before you or any possibilities ahead… just look UP. Look UP to the sky. Up, up, and away into the Heavens…or even around you, you know. He’s there…He’s there in the wind, in the sunrise, a stranger’s smile. He’s God.

I see God when I visit the ocean, being so intimidated by its tides and greatness. It is so large, and there are so many creatures living in it, lots undiscovered I am sure. I also see God in simply spending time with my grandma (I have only one living) as she tells me and re-tells me stories of times long ago when I was small, and as we reminisce, I cherish her smile, and the way her face lights up, like I was just born a few weeks ago, and I am still brand new to her…she loves me that much.

Excuse the repetition, but again, I see God when I spend time with our pets, especially our Cockatiel Jazzy, aka J-Bird, because I am forever learning from her! Maybe its because a relationship with a bird is far more delicate and soft, cautious, or unique? I am not sure…that’s my opinion. Not only is she the star being the header of my blog, she has glowing orange cheeks, bows her bald head in begging for rubs, and tries to drink and eat whatever I have at the moment. She has her own personality like every other bird. When you get a bird its like getting a cat, or a box of chocolates-you just never know what you’re going to get (Thank you Forest). When I wake up and turn around in the middle of the night to see if he’s real, and my husband is there, I see God…and thank Him for my life’s mate…soul mate.

I realize that we are all on different journeys with different issues at hand, our own types of struggles or burdens to bear, our own histories/pasts, personalities, family or no family, friends or no, God of Christianity, other world religions, spiritual, or non religious…whomever you are…you are running your own race. You were made to LIVE.

In my personal belief…Jesus DIED so we may LIVE eternally…I could go on and on about that, because I have a strong passion for God and the path to salvation through Jesus Christ His Son…but…I just want you to hear me! You have a purpose! As I have said before, and will say it again…As long as there’s breath in your body and your heart is beating…you have unfinished business, friend! Don’t compare your beginning to others middle or great finish.

Like the rest of you I have a story, I have a past. Sure I might have blogged about some things here, but just like yours, my story is not quite clear to you either…I just wanted to take the time to offer hope tonight. Not my hope, but the only hope. Hope through God above.
I’m not preaching to you…I just care is all…I have a big heart and you are my friends. So no matter where you are, what you have or don’t have, car or no car, no help in the outside world. I am here to tell you, it ain’t over, baby!
Perhaps I could have presented this message in a better way, I don’t know….
Just speak on it…you can pray no matter where you are. You can pray without money, you can find prayer partners and go to Church for free… I am sure someone who is a member would be more than happy to give you a ride 🙂
Don’t give up!!!
God bless you tonight, tomorrow and always, Amen!