Christianity, Jesus, Love, Music, Personal Journey

“Bring Me To Life” Is Your SOUL crying out?

In His Great Mercy, The Lord is filling in me the desire and need to create tonight. It’s very therapeutic on a night of very heavy inner healing. The Lord is healing my soul. This supernatural phenomenon is a luxury that I am beyond blessed to share with the world and I literally will someday just as prophesied.

Glory to God!

I saw a creative opportunity in the midst of personal pain and suffering tonight.

This video as of September 27, 2018 has 544,692,689 views.

The world is hurting as anyone can see. Only Yeshua/Jesus can heal us all.

Parts of my soul cry out just like Amy Lee in the hit song by Evanescence called “Bring Me to Life.” I’m not endorsing this band. I am making a faith application tonight using secular music.

Many people are hurting just like the words in this song. Parts of me still are daily. Jesus is setting me free 24/7 as He sews my soul back together…

This song is pretty dark and heavy. The emotion is raw and real. I love the graphic design of this video. I’ve been afraid of heights most of my life, and now I know why thanks to God.

I love how Amy Lee reaches out for the lead singer of 12 Stones, Paul McCoy in the video. It’s like they have a deep soul tie that draws her into him.

Soul ties is a very interesting topic. So intriguing. Many Christians and people in general are unfamiliar with the term and what it means. Most have heard the term soul mate before though. Much can be talked about concerning soul ties as well. The most obvious and talked about soul tie is created in the marriage bed or when 2 persons are sexually intimate.

There’s a warning in The Word Of God against ungodly sexual soul ties.

1 Corinthians 6:15-20 King James Version (KJV)

15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.

16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Much to learn and be said about the matter.

Anyways…

❤️

Unfortunately (if you watch the whole video) you will see that Paul fails to save Amy. In the end the man lets her down. She falls…many stories down. Splat!

There are different views and interpretations of the song and its video. All this proves a point.

The man dropped Amy!

Only The Son Of God Yeshua/Jesus can give a person rest for their soul…

Matthew 11:28-29 King James Version (KJV)

28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

Only Yeshua can save anybody!

Haven’t we all been there though? Wandering around helpless like Amy Lee in her nightgown, climbing a high rise building… So much could be said for all this.

I believe there’s a higher intelligence involved though of course. Lucifer owns Hollywood/fame. I believe demons/fallen angels are at work a lot in the production of music videos like this one along with major motion pictures as well. Man… I’m uber inspired tonight. So much could be discussed here.

Back to the song.

The lyrics to this song are SO deep!

Look at the talk about the soul.

🎼🎵🎵🎵💥

Bring Me To Life by Evanescence

(Lyrics via Google)

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?

Leading you down, into my core

Where I’ve become so numb, without a soul

My spirit’s sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there, and lead it, back, home

Wake me up inside

Wake me up inside

Call my name and save me from the dark

Bid my blood to run

Before I come undone

Save me from the nothing I’ve become

Now that I know what I’m without

You can’t just leave me

Breathe into me and make me real

Bring me to life

Wake me up inside

Wake me up inside

Call my name and save me from the dark

Bid my blood to run

Before I come undone

Save me from the nothing I’ve become

Bring me to life

Bring me to life

Frozen inside, without your touch

Without your love, darling

Only you are my life

Among the dead

I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems

Got to open my eyes to everything

Don’t let me die here

Bring, me, to, life

Wake me up inside

Wake me up inside

Call my name and save me from the dark

Bid my blood to run

Before I come undone

Save me from the nothing I’ve become

Bring me to life

Bring me to life

Bring me to life

Songwriters: David Hodges / Ben Moody / Amy Lee

Bring Me to Life lyrics © Reservoir One Music, Reservoir Media Management Inc

 

Praise God!

I’m getting sleepy now… I pray that my Father is Glorified in this post and that it helps you tonight.

If you’re hurting deeply-to the very core of your being-your soul…. know that there is help and hope for you in The Son Of God.

Jesus came to take your pain.

Jesus is The Way, The Truth, and The Life.

He’s The ONLY way to God.

John 14:6. Check it out for yourself.

You don’t have to carry this Cross alone anymore. Help is just a prayer away.

ONLY Jesus can bring us all to life! ❤️

God bless your soul tonight, Beloved readers.

Christianity, Faith, Mental Health, Personal Journey

Vlogspirations! #3 Hope Is An Anchor For My Soul

Published on Jul 13, 2017
I am starting a new series for my channel, called Vlogspirations! I am going to vlog about what’s going on in my life behind the scenes, sharing with you the good, the bad, and everything in between. Help Support My Ministry: http://www.theothersideofdarkness.com… My testimony: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHBB-… My Blog: http://www.theothersideofdarkness.com About Me: Hi my name is Beth 🙂 I am an ex witch and new ager, who came out of satanic ritual abuse in the Mormon church. I am saved by the love and grace of Jesus Christ, and I blog and vlog about my past experiences, what I have learned and where God is leading me. I am also a stay at home mom of 4 boys, and married to a wonderful man.
***
All of this is from Sister Beth Eckert’s YouTube channel:
Christianity, Music, Personal Journey

Mood Music… ♥ † ♥

According to Merriam-Webster,

Definition of marionette

: a small-scale usually wooden figure (as of a person) with jointed limbs that is moved from above by manipulation of the attached strings or wires.

?

Have you ever felt controlled like a Marionette?

Perhaps you have been in an abusive relationship or had a rough upbringing as a child?

All of the emotions that follow abuse are so consuming… Soul consuming.

This is why it’s so important for us as Believers to renew our minds

Reading The Word of God regularly purges our hearts…

Hebrews 4:12 King James Version (KJV)

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

So here’s the song… Marionette.

“Marionette”

I wanna cut me free, you wanna clip my wings
I’m made of flesh and bone, you wanna take control of me
You wanna dress me up, I wanna feel the sun
You wanna play pretend, I’m not about to bend, you’ll see
This is not a game
You want the strings so you can
Pull at my soul and tear me down
You want it all, I’m not your marionette doll
So let me go, oh
I’m taking back the day you tried to steal from me
I’m going to make my voice, you’ll never get my choice to breathe
This is not a game
You want the strings so you can
Pull in my soul and tear me down
You want it all, I’m not your marionette doll
So let me go, oh
Let me go, oh
So let me go, oh
Let me go, oh
I wanna cut me free but you wanna clip my wings
This is not a game
You want the strings so you can
Pull in my soul and tear me down
You want it all, I’m not your marionette doll
So let me go
You want the strings so you can
Pull in my soul and tear me down
You want it all, I’m not your marionette doll
So let me go
Songwriters: Dave Bassett / J. Culpepper / Jared Hartmann / K. Seals / Kristen May / Sameer Bhattacharya
Marionette lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

 

I’ve been listening to Flyleaf a lot lately.

I have really been relating to the lyrics like I’ve never related to lyrics before…

So, The Lord is leading me to share some songs that have been on my heart lately with the lyrics, by different artists.

Image result for flyleaf*Image via Google.

While we’re on the subject, check out Lacey Sturm‘s amazing testimony below for The Glory of God. I pray it really moves you, especially if you’ve ever dealt with suicide or the darkest of dark…

 

From the video description box:   Singer Lacey Sturm, who was once suicidal, shares how she found purpose in her life. Watch and share. If this story of hope has touched your heart visit: http://www.findingmyhope.org


This morning, this is the song I am feeling the most… Praise God.

Check out this song!

 

“Fade Away”

Hey, don’t wanna run no more
Hey, must find an open door
Hey, ask him to step inside
Hey, I’m tired of this life

I don’t wanna waste away
Like I saw myself fading yesterday
I don’t wanna feel the shame
I don’t wanna waste away
Like I saw myself fading yesterday
I don’t wanna feel the pain
I don’t wanna waste away

Hey, walk on but don’t come forth
Hey, find what I lost before
Hey, must change the shape I’m in
Hey, never go back again

[Chorus]

I’m coming to know
I’m coming to see you now (see you now)
I’m coming to go
I’m coming to see you now,
Believe you now

I don’t wanna waste away,
I don’t wanna waste away

[Chorus til end]

I recently wrote another post about this band. Check it out here.


 

More Mood Music…

Ephesians 6:13 King James Version (KJV)

Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

 

“Fire Fire”

Almost thought we made it home,
But we don’t know this place at all,
That’s enough now dry your tears
It’s been a long eleven years

Fire, fire, fire!
Fire from the tongues of liars,

You’re ashamed of where you’re from,
Crying ’cause your father’s drunk
We can’t die because we’re young
At least that’s what we heard in a song

Fire, fire, fire!
Fire from the tongues of liars,
Fire, fire, fire!
Fire from the tongues of liars

You’re ashamed of what you’ve done,
Crying ’cause your father’s wrong
Trying to be something new,
You’ll feel that you were something to prove

What you confuse for glory’s fire
Is fire from the tongues of liars.
What you confuse for glory’s fire
Is fire from the tongues of liars.
Oh send your rain

Fire, fire, fire!
Fire from the tongues of liars,
(oh send your rain)
Fire, fire, fire!
Fire from the tongues of liars
(oh send your rain)

Fire, fire, fire!
Fire from the tongues of liars,
(oh send your rain)
Fire, fire, fire!
Fire from the tongues of liars

You’re afraid of who you are (you’re ashamed of where you’re from)
Crying ’cause your father’s gone (fire from the tongues of liars)
Dreaming ’til you hit the truth (we can’t die because we’re young)
You’ll find that you’ve nothing to lose (fire from the tongues of liars)
You’ll find that you’ve nothing to prove.

 


The Lord will bless you by bringing you to a place or a point where you are just READY to STAND for His Namesake. You are just READY to fight BOLDLY for The TRUTH. Only GOD can bring us to this place where we, by HIS Strength, take a stand against the accusers, the tongues of liars. How do we do that? Simple. Speak forth The Truth in Love… ♥

Ephesians 4:11-15 King James Version (KJV)

11 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;

12 For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:

13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:

14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;

15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

 

God has a calling on your life. Whoever you are. You are reading this blog post for a reason. He is speaking to you. Are you listening? Can you hear the voice of The Holy Spirit? Do you feel a tugging on your heart? Are tears welling up inside you in a way they have not before? The Presence of God makes us cry because of HIS Overwhelming LOVE. I praise HIM for that… Only God can help us to feel in a world where man easily becomes jaded… Just pray and ask Him to help you… I prayed this verse over myself and it is manifesting day by day. I am just blown AWAY at what GOD is doing in my own life everyday. I know HE CAN and WILL do it for you too! Check this out! ♥

Ezekiel 36:26-27 King James Version (KJV)

26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.

27 And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.

Image result for heart with bandaid

*Image via Google.


 

In the midst of raw emotions like angst and rage, are personal wars. On the Shoulders of The Son of God, I am on the Brink of Vindication.

I have The Favor of my Father. As a Born Again Believer, you can count on GOD having your back!  See Psalm 105 here. Read below…

Psalm 105 King James Version (KJV)

1 O give thanks unto the Lord; call upon his name: make known his deeds among the people.

Sing unto him, sing psalms unto him: talk ye of all his wondrous works.

Glory ye in his holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the Lord.

Seek the Lord, and his strength: seek his face evermore.

Remember his marvellous works that he hath done; his wonders, and the judgments of his mouth;

O ye seed of Abraham his servant, ye children of Jacob his chosen.

He is the Lord our God: his judgments are in all the earth.

He hath remembered his covenant for ever, the word which he commanded to a thousand generations.

Which covenant he made with Abraham, and his oath unto Isaac;

10 And confirmed the same unto Jacob for a law, and to Israel for an everlasting covenant:

11 Saying, Unto thee will I give the land of Canaan, the lot of your inheritance:

12 When they were but a few men in number; yea, very few, and strangers in it.

13 When they went from one nation to another, from one kingdom to another people;

14 He suffered no man to do them wrong: yea, he reproved kings for their sakes;

15 Saying, Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm.

16 Moreover he called for a famine upon the land: he brake the whole staff of bread.

17 He sent a man before them, even Joseph, who was sold for a servant:

18 Whose feet they hurt with fetters: he was laid in iron:

19 Until the time that his word came: the word of the Lord tried him.

20 The king sent and loosed him; even the ruler of the people, and let him go free.

21 He made him lord of his house, and ruler of all his substance:

22 To bind his princes at his pleasure; and teach his senators wisdom.

23 Israel also came into Egypt; and Jacob sojourned in the land of Ham.

24 And he increased his people greatly; and made them stronger than their enemies.

25 He turned their heart to hate his people, to deal subtilly with his servants.

26 He sent Moses his servant; and Aaron whom he had chosen.

27 They shewed his signs among them, and wonders in the land of Ham.

28 He sent darkness, and made it dark; and they rebelled not against his word.

29 He turned their waters into blood, and slew their fish.

30 Their land brought forth frogs in abundance, in the chambers of their kings.

31 He spake, and there came divers sorts of flies, and lice in all their coasts.

32 He gave them hail for rain, and flaming fire in their land.

33 He smote their vines also and their fig trees; and brake the trees of their coasts.

34 He spake, and the locusts came, and caterpillers, and that without number,

35 And did eat up all the herbs in their land, and devoured the fruit of their ground.

36 He smote also all the firstborn in their land, the chief of all their strength.

37 He brought them forth also with silver and gold: and there was not one feeble person among their tribes.

38 Egypt was glad when they departed: for the fear of them fell upon them.

39 He spread a cloud for a covering; and fire to give light in the night.

40 The people asked, and he brought quails, and satisfied them with the bread of heaven.

41 He opened the rock, and the waters gushed out; they ran in the dry places like a river.

42 For he remembered his holy promise, and Abraham his servant.

43 And he brought forth his people with joy, and his chosen with gladness:

44 And gave them the lands of the heathen: and they inherited the labour of the people;

45 That they might observe his statutes, and keep his laws. Praise ye the Lord.

 

This AMAZING, Beautiful Psalm reminds me of another Favorite…

Romans 8:31

“What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?”

The above verse is a banner over my life. I am living proof of It’s TRUTH. Everyday.

Praise THE LORD all the earth!

It is in the darkest of hours and in the fiery furnaces of this life that we can literally see that GOD is ALL we need. GOD is The ONLY ONE Who can be there like THAT...and hold you like that… Praise His Holy Name!!!

Psalm 62:5-6 (KJV)

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.

He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved.


 

Many are the plans of a mans heart, ya know.

Here are some awesome lyrics about that (I just saw them on another amazing post by Mr. Jeffrey A. Hale, which I will be posting next, Glory to God!) ♥

*Image via YouTube

slipslidin

We have our own ideas of how we want things to go. The LORD is so good to us! He wants to hear our hearts as we pray, but we must keep in mind, as I am learning…

God is God alone. God is Sovereign. He knows best. His Timing and Ways are The Best.

Proverbs 19:21 King James Version (KJV)

21 There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand.

 

The LORD sees The WHOLE picture. Past, present, and future.

So, do not be discouraged if your prayers aren’t answered EXACTLY the way you anticipate… His ways are so much higher! Be of good cheer!  🙂

You are loved by someone who died to know you! ♥

Thank You, Yeshua! ♥

 

 

Just one more…. As led by The Holy Spirit!

For The Glory of GOD! In The Name of The SON! †

“Call You Out”

How can you act like you know
When all you know is to lie?
Another truth to expose,
Freedom will capture their eyes.
We find this truth
We fight. You lose.

Your time’s up now.
That’s enough now.
Shut up, get out!
Truth called you out.

I know this language of yours
–
I used to speak it so well.
A fire meant to be pure
Is now the fire of Hell.
It is written
Long before you.

Your time’s up now.
That’s enough now.
Shut up, get out!
Truth called you out.

I hear your claims,
And I know your name;
I hear your claims,
And I know your name:

Liar.
Liar.

Your time’s up now.
That’s enough now.
Shut up, get out!
Truth called you out.

Your time’s up now.
That’s enough now.
Shut up, get out!
Truth called you out.

 

If this blog post blessed you, I feel led by The Spirit of God to ask that you would share the music on this page. The world needs Yeshua/Jesus like never before. The Antichrist system may be set up and the kingdom of darkness may be doing their thing, but THE CHURCH IS STILL HERE, so let’s shine! ♥ I feel like The LORD has really been speaking to me lately about SHINING.  †

Hearing The Gospel in different ways and different types of music can really make a difference. I pray you have a wonderful day in The LORD!

Jesus loves you! ♥

 


Personal Journey

Inner Healing… 8/2/2018 ♥

Glory to God.

This is the first inner healing journal entry I have ever shared with the world.

Yeshua has been healing my broken soul this year like never before. He leads me through the darkest of valleys into His Marvelous Light each day. I am more whole day by day. More to come later about the sensitive topic of inner healing and what it means to be truly broken before God…


 

Inner Healing 7.16.18

 

Eye doctor appointment is an eye opener for sure.

Filling out the paperwork was both humbling and sobering.

Praise God for resurrecting me…

This is huge.

From Beauty to Ashes. All pride is exposed.

Sitting here under this bright, white overhead fluorescent light makes me feel naked-just completely exposed.

The Lord is bringing me to places of confrontation where I have to look at and deal with things that make me seriously uncomfortable.

However, in the midst of it all is a greater intimacy and walk with my Creator-which is what Jesus/Yeshua died for. God wanted Complete Reconciliation between Himself and His Creation. This is The Revelation of The Cross. This is what The Lord used to show me my brokenness. I hadn’t seen The Passion of The Christ in like 15 years. I remembered the movie really wrecked me emotionally.

I was having a terrible 2017 so I tried to press into God like never before. One way I felt led to try was to watch the movie about Jesus/Yeshua. I had no emotional response.

Today, I expound.

August 2, 2018…

At the doctor’s office, I had to update my patient information. It had been so long… I took my clipboard and sat down, ear buds in my ears. I was blaring my personal playlist on Spotify-Particularly, Roots and Wings by Miranda Lambert as I pondered my Testimony and developments underway at The Very Hand of God.

This song is so personal for me. It’s like 2018 has been my year of Breakthrough and I am blown away at my Lord… The Miracles keep unfolding with The Truth!

 

 

Lyrics to “Roots and Wings” by Miranda Lambert

Roots And Wings
I got red dirt stains
On my boots and jeans
Calloused fingers
From my guitar strings
Wild like the wind
In the tall pine trees
I got roots
And I got wings
I raise my glass
On a Saturday night
I thank the Lord above
On my Sunday drive
For Daddy’s hands
And Mama’s dreams
He gave me roots
She gave me wings
He said run on love
And run on life
And plant some seeds
Until you’re tired
Don’t take anything at all for granted
She said raise your hands
And raise your babies
Be yourself
And never change it
Be everything you ever wanna be
He said run on love
And run on life
And plant some seeds
And take your time
Don’t take anything at all for granted
She said raise your hands
And raise your babies
Be yourself
And never change it
Be everything you ever wanna be
I saddle up
When I get down
Sing every night
In a different town
And I’ve got a man who wears my ring
And I got roots
And I got wings
Yeah I got roots
I got wings
Songwriters: Miranda Lambert
Roots And Wings lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

 

Back to the doctor visit…

The Lord pulled back the curtain of my heart as my eyes scanned the black and white form.

Emergency contacts. Diagnoses. Previous surgeries, family history, etc…

I could see my ashes all over the place. I am resurrected with Christ, far more than I ever thought. I had no idea just how dead I was.

The enemy tried to completely rob me of my identity. The Lord has intervened.

I am no longer cursed, but blessed, and the things that God is doing just takes my breath away… ♥

Praise The Lord! He is The God of The Living and not The God of the dead! ♥

♥ ♥ ♥

Also, on another beautiful note for The Glory of God, while I was there in the waiting room, I met this lovely couple named Danny and Anna Conn. They are amazing People of God and I praise The Lord for this Divine Appointment. We shared our thoughts about the current state of The Church and had a nice little fellowship. Praise The Lord! I shared God’s Awesome Deliverance Fellowship group with them, then around a week later I ran into Anna at work! We took a picture! Praise The LORD!

IMG_1019[1]

Hallelujah!  ♥

In other news…

The LORD blessed me with a new hairstyle today on August 3, 2018.

I went for the Marilyn Monroe look.

Makeover2018

She was known for different reasons and remains an icon…but God knows why I chose this hairdo. He led me to as part of His story. I relate to Marilyn, like many other women. She may have been involved in darkness and living in sin, but she was a real woman, and she was broken. I praise God for healing my brokenness. It is through Yeshua/Jesus ALONE that ANYBODY can be made WHOLE. ♥

Praise GOD!

Personal Journey

Inner Healing is For Everyone.

Praise The Lord for another beautiful day. I just want to Glorify my King because He is Awesome. I am so grateful to be able to say that I regularly experience the tender heart of Yeshua as He heals my broken soul/broken heart. To know Him is life and peace. The Gentleness of The Presence of The Holy Spirit… I am in awe. It is so Amazing how our God can be both The Most Powerful, Almighty Creator and yet have The Most Tender, Loving Heart for all of us.

It brings me to tears when I feel His Embrace…
I love it when He holds me to comfort my soul.
Inner Healing was paid for by Yeshua on The Cross. Inner Healing is for EVERYONE! The Lord wants us all to be healed and made whole. He is so Beautiful and so Kind. I love Him. I am just overwhelmed with My King today…

The Love of God is mind blowing!
It is His Grace and Mercy that see me through each day.
In the middle of your darkest hour, know you are loved.
Yeshua loves ALL of your parts. ALL of your parts are covered by HIS Blood. Take heart, Precious ones. You are so special in the Eyes of your Creator. He wants to Embrace all of us.

Sending love to all of you guys today. You are special. Amen.

IMG_0224.JPG

Praise The Lord! This morning, in the middle of all of this, He blessed me to keep this beautiful song on repeat to calm my soul. It is called “It is Well (live)” by Kristene Dimarco. Here are the lyrics below:

Check out this amazing song on YouTube!

 

It Is Well

Bethel Music

Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard

And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And through it all, through it all
It is well

And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And it is well with me

And far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can’t see

And this mountain that’s in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea

And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And through it all, through it all
It is well

And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And it is well
It is well

So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name
So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name
So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name
The waves and wind still know His name

And it is well with my soul (sing it everybody)
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well
It is well with my soul
Oh it is well with my soul (’cause of who you are)
Oh it is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well
It is well with my soul
It is well
It is well with my soul
It is well
It is well with my soul

And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And through it all, through it all
It is well Lord

And through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
And it is well with me

Songwriters: Kristene Elizabeth Dimarco

It Is Well lyrics © Bethel Music Publishing

cropped-bwcross.jpg

healing, life, Personal Journey

Not At All…

So I’m sitting here this morning just astonished at my reality. Life is not at all what I believed it to be. So many things have been brought to the light as the darkness in my world has been exposed. Ever since I got saved in 2014, I was one of the Rapture Watchers, like 24/7. I was subscribed to every single end time news YouTube channel as well as a bunch of rapture related channels made by regular people like myself-many with a spirit of fear attached, panic, and anxiety.

Most of this year I have not been watching for the return of The Lord Jesus. At the beginning of the year I was given a powerful word from what I believed to be The Holy Spirit. So I took every step in faith and leaped by faith. As I shared what I’d been given, I experienced horrible backlash from my family and many many tears because of my firm stance on this situation. The night that the lying spirit spoke to me in all of my sorrow and many tears it said “Count the cost.” My world was falling apart and I truly believed I was hearing from The Lord.

Long story short, it’s been one heck of a ride with so much confusion. This year 2017 has been one of the worst of my life. I saw people online earlier in the year proclaiming it as the year of breakthrough but so far I haven’t achieved that in my personal life. I had a very vivid dream back in March where it had just rained and the sky was beautiful, the early morning air was misty. I looked at my husband and I said “This is the genesis.” New beginnings right? I expected something great to happen, but not all new beginnings are good or what we expect.

So, somewhere in this mess with the lying spirits I fell into sin and wound up with a stubborn spirit husband. Maybe it was there all along and assigned to me for such a time as this, I dunno. There’s much to be researched and said about the matter. I have so many spiritual issues right now I could never count them. I have cried out to God about all of this and I am currently coughing up my deliverance one day at a time from this nightmare. I have been sexually molested by unseen demons since about March, nearly 5 months. There’s been very little peace but I have been learning so, so much…

Earlier in the year when I came out of agreement with the molesters and stopped giving into their antics, they began harassing me in other ways like playing with my hair or attacking me with sharp pains or pinches on my arms or legs that felt like tiny bites. I have never ever experienced these demonic attacks and I never ever believed in Deliverance ministry. Funny how experience changes things eh?

Today I came to the conclusion that it is completely impossible to be holy and live holy when you are being sexually molested and aroused 24/7 around the clock. This impacts the type of music I listen to, my moods, and relationships. My mother is concerned about me because she says I am always not feeling good. The devil uses unclean spirits like the spirit husbands/wives to attempt to destroy marriages. It’s not going to work in our case because we are ordained by God Almighty to be together on this journey of life. If it were not for God we would have split years ago for sure. I see God’s Hand in our marriage even today as He is constantly putting new love in our hearts one for another. Despite my husband being a non-believer, he is yet very supportive of me in my faith and encourages me to not miss fellowship meetings and to read my Bible. It’s amazing. Glory to God!

I am just worn and weary, tired of sinning because of this consistent sexual harassment. God knows I am human and but clay, and He understands more than I know…

In this mess I have discovered that I am not the mature Christian I believed myself to be the last few years. In fact, I know very little Scripture and hardly have any memorized (mostly because of the mind control psychotropic meds I’ve been on for years that were messing with my brain). God has placed me in a new group of Believers where we meeting most days of the week and hang out to pray, read the Word, hear a lesson and fellowship in support of each other in these last days. I am so blessed and not thankful enough for this precious gift! This group is rooted in Deliverance Ministry but yet a general Christian hangout on the Zoom social media platform. It’s amazing how He provides me with the means in the midst of my problems. I was going at all of this alone and was clueless so He drew me into my new amazing family and friends. I could like write a book about all of this, wow…

I am not ready for The Rapture. Yes, after warning people all over the internet and buying emergency food supplies and water, I stopped looking when my drama came down at the beginning of this year. This does not mean that anything has changed. Everything is right on schedule with God’s prophetic timeline. I’ve just backed off from the end times news because I have so much trouble going on in my brain and life that I cannot handle and process anything else right now. I know I am not seeing it the way I should and I’ve prayed about that. God’s Mercy is huge, greater than I’ve ever imagined…or will ever know. I have some repenting to do and spiritual work and examining of myself and all. So much information, so much shock, so many life changers in the first half of my 2017. I have been double minded and teeter-tottering from holy to hellish so much lately that it’s exhausting. I mean I need to pick a side and stay on it. However, I know He is able to prepare His Bride and will finish what he started.

I have been rebelling against God and venting alone with taking long drives in my car while listening to worldly and demonic music. This is my coping mechanism. I can’t lasth out at the house. Then I get home and I go back to my MercyMe and Third Day from the Avenged Sevenfold and Katy Perry I’d been playing in my car…ahem.. Some days I just don’t think I can ever go on and I do not want to see another day because I really and truly believe in my heart that I can not take one more day of this. The spirits of suicide and death are running rampant around our globe right now. It’s so sad because many of the sufferers are Christians. God’s People are being attacked like never before. However, we know that all things work out to the good for those that love The Lord. My sin brought the demons into my life and exposed what had already been there and my late father’s Freemason connection to my life and all this other occult stuff.

Legal rights. Renunciations. Binding the strongman. The false Holy Spirit and prophecies. The Kundalini spirit. The fragmentation of my soul.  Ungodly Soul ties. ACTUAL spiritual warfare. Binding and losing. The Kingdom of darkness. Deliverance ministry. The battle for my soul. Generational curses. Automatic writing. The signs and wonders that follow those that believe. Miraculous healing. Casting out demons in Jesus’ Name. Raising the dead. The Mind-blowing Power of The Holy Spirit. Also, sometimes Jesus casts demons out of me Himself when I don’t do anything or address them down here-it’s really a faith  builder! I have cast demons out in our Lord’s Name and I have had them cast out of me. They come out in the forms of coughs, burps, yawns and stuff.

Finally, It has been brought to my attention by The Power of The Holy Spirit that I have many wounds that need healing inside. There are things called defense mechanisms that need to be addressed in my life right now. Read this text below from greatbiblestudy.com

“What is a defense mechanism? A defense mechanism is an ungodly reaction within a person that is designed to prevent the person from further harm. It can be fear, unforgiveness, un-correctiveness, rebellion, etc. Think of it as a wall which keeps out both the bad guys along with the good guys.

Unfortunately, the very thing which rises up to defend us, is the very thing which prevents our wound from ever healing. The Holy Spirit is more than eager to get us healed and restored, but we must not put our hand in His face when He’s trying to heal. One of the most important steps in the inner healing process is to remove defense mechanisms so that the Holy Spirit can heal the wounds. Begin to deal with the defense mechanisms, and you will make yourself available for healing.”

I have some strongholds that have to be taken down by The Power of God. I have began mapping it all out in a notebook to try and sort things out to come to a state of peace and a solid walk with Jesus. I hope somehow this post blesses you. Its’ very big but so are the feelings and thoughts inside 🙂

God bless in Jesus’ Name.