Christianity, Faith, Inspiration, life, Love, Personal Journey

Tonight You Are LOVED.

Child of God, if you feel you’re at the end of your rope, ask The Lord to tie a knot. If you’re torn apart and overflowing with tears, look in the mirror. You’re alive and still here. God saw you through countless other nights that you despised. God is ALL you need. GOD has to be ALL you need.

NOBODY ELSE can save you! NOBODY else WILL save you! NOBODY CAN complete you.

Like Brother Marcus Rogers is preaching, your mate should compliment you.

Nobody and nothing else can have that Sacred place in your heart. That’s for God. There’s places for others, but He is our TRUE and ONLY Rock and our first Love! The Son Of God is our Everything!

Revelation 2:4 “Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.”

Hold onto The Lord tonight and every night.

He’s the only one that will ALWAYS be there.

He said He’d never leave us nor forsake us. He means it.

Jesus/Yeshua is The only MAN (The God Man) that will Forever catch EVERY tear you EVER cry.

He’s Perfect.

Don’t set your affections on the things of this world. We’re not here to stay anyways.

No matter how heavy your pain or even how dark the night, it’s temporary!

These light afflictions cannot compare to the glory that awaits us! Heaven is our Home!

Don’t look at what is seen! Be faith-driven, not fear driven. The Righteous are as bold as a lion.

Tonight He’s enough.

In every trial, Jesus/Yeshua is IT for us ❤️

Not just because He has to be or He should be.

He’s enough because we love Him.

He’s enough because He’s proven Himself Faithful and True! He holds the keys to death, Hell, and the grave and because of HIM and what He did for you, there is ABSOLUTE, Complete FREEDOM!

Nobody can love you like The Son Of God.

Hold onto Him.

He’s holding onto you.

He’s holding onto all of us far more than we’ll ever know this side of Heaven.

Amen. Rest well in The Lord, Precious Ones.

abuse, addiction, Bipolar Disorder, career, Christians, death, Depression, encouragement, Faith, God, Inspirational, Jesus, Personal Journey

Ever Wonder?

 

 

 

Inner peace. Rest. Healing. Comfort. Restoration. Transformation. All things are possible with God. Jesus can do it for you. This clip is of proof of His love and Power. Amen.

Come to the fountain of Living Water today and never thirst again.

besaved

abuse, addiction, Anxiety, Bipolar disorder, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, coping, God, Jesus

More Than

This is for you tonight.

Think about it…as you scan these words.

There’s a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she’s wandered
And the shame she can’t hide

She says, “How did I get here?
I’m not who I once was.
And I’m crippled by the fear
That I’ve fallen too far to love”

But don’t you know who you are,
What’s been done for you?
Yeah don’t you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she’s been given new life
But she can’t shake the feeling
That it’s not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she’s rehearsed all the lines
And so she’ll try to do better
But then she’s too weak to try

But don’t you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

‘Cause this is not about what you’ve done,
But what’s been done for you.
This is not about where you’ve been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

You’ve been remade
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.

God bless you, precious one
Song lyrics by group Tenth Avenue North
*Image via Google

Personal Journey

dontgiveup.jpg

If you are feeling beyond healing, and like its over, nothing but darkness…and if you are considering doing something horrible about it, please, please, I encourage you to call this number:

anytime at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Suicide solves nothing. Problems can be worked through. As long as you are still breathing with a beating heart, we can turn this around. I am sending you love this morning.

God bless,
Amanda

*image via, National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Personal Journey

My Love Is Broken.

My Love Is Broken.

Isn’t that awesome? Perhaps that’s what many of us long for… That kind of love. A powerful one. Not a ‘love’ where someone is capable of breaking your heart 5 different ways in 24 hours, lack of respect, but not of neglect…Where is love?

My love is broken. Its all grim and gloomy. I was praying for my God to restore my marriage…but how can something be restored that never really was? I seek transformation. I pray all the time..

This house is colder than an igloo this spring. My heart wants to stay, but my spirit is slowly dying because of him. He’s toxic to all of me: mind, body, and soul! Oh, my God, deliver me! The big D is horrific to say the least. I’ve seen loved ones that I’m so close with go through it. According to my faith, I may leave, if he will not turn around/repent. However, I think I have to remain alone for the rest of my days. I suppose what he did was just ‘unfortunate’ for me. My shot at happiness was trampled on with a the lie of a foundation that we were founded on 5 years ago.
I’m going to therapy at 10 a.m. today to go over all of this. I’ve been keeping a journal for release, and I’m gonna share that with her today. Family of faith, brothers and sisters in Christ, please pray for me, my soul, and my broken heart; all the pieces that are left. This is the hardest decision I will ever have to make. Will I remain a prisoner who loves somebody in these unhealthy conditions? I don’t know what feeling in love is like, vs. loving a man.

I must carry on. Today is going to be what I make it, despite the conditions. I will pray all throughout the day, and try and keep my mind occupied. For it will be a little while before I can make a change, if that’s what is going to happen.

Have a blessed day, my friends!

-Amanda

Personal Journey

I Don’t Care What Everyone Else Says That I Cannot Do…Anymore!

Don’t write something you’ll regret!!!

People like you for what they’re used to, so you cannot change!

Like a r&B singer going pop, its a transition.

Something new is about to be born.

I am not just being restored…

I am recreated.

How?

Me.

I am making some major changes in this game called life.

The way I play is going to turned up a few notches…

First I lost my mind.

Then I lost some weight.

Tired of losing.

Time for winning.

So here I go…

I’ll keep you posted.

I’m no longer on the brink.

I’m jumping in.

I don’t believe in luck, so don’t wish it for me.

Diving into my new life, without thinking twice.

There is no time for careful consideration.

All of that pondering has led me no place else but…here.

So…

I’ve made an executive decision.

I’m severing my own ties and breaking my very own chains.

For many years I’ve been a prisoner in a big body and an anxious mind.

NO MORE.

Freedom, Is what I choose.

Personal Journey

For Any of You Who Are Hurting Right Now:

For Any of You Who Are Hurting Right Now:

It doesn’t matter what time it is, or the day, or place. God is listening. Call upon Him, precious friends! Let your worries be heard by the Ears of Almighty God, making all your problems be known to Him Who made the world, and all that is, and was. He already knows what you are going to ask, before you even ask. We can’t surprise God.

His love is matchless, infinite, and ever unconditional. It is through Jesus Christ, His Son, that we are able to know God have a relationship with Him.

“In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”

God bless everyone tonight.
xox

Amanda

*Image source, Via Facebook News Feed.

Personal Journey

Saying Goodbye to ED (my Eating Disorder)

For the longest time I was at war with myself, and my body! Its so ironic that when I was so full of self hatred, and angry with the world, I was at my all time slimmest! I just didn’t see myself like everyone else did, in my own eyes I was flawed, ugly, and not up to par. Friends, that’s the way an Eating Disorder makes you think! Because I felt these things and a for a few other reasons, I developed Bulimia and got to an unhealthy type of slim, where my bones were showing through. I took phrases from my girlfriends like “Amanda looks Anorexic” as compliments! They weren’t insulting me, we were just kids, goofing around back then.

Below are a few pictures of me from back then. If you’ll notice, the first me in the red dress at 16 was hiding my stomach with my arms. How beautiful I was, and how much pain I carried around. The middle me, in the peach dress at 17 is crossing my arms to hide my stomach, still. The picture I glued on there on the far right, number 3, is me at 22. I was beginning a new life in Recovery, a healthy weight for my size/bone structure, and so importantly, I finally KNEW i Fit in. I was full of positivity! My arms, not shown here, were around 2 of my college friends at that time. I was most definitely not ashamed. 🙂

Image

 

It was just NEVER ENOUGH! Every rejection from a guy I liked, a part I didn’t get in the school play, being unpopular, I don’t know… Food is a drug. It became my drug of choice then. The way I handled it, I was becoming more and more slim all the time. With every pound I lost, I felt I could be closer to happiness, chiseling away the parts of me that weren’t wanted, weren’t good enough. Someday I would be popular, have the leading role in the school play, and be dating some kind of handsome guy, worth something. Somehow, no matter how much the numbers would decrease on the scale, the pain didn’t. When I would go up in pounds, I became even more angry with the world, and myself. I would curse at myself in the mirror, and hit myself. Mostly my stomach. I also dealt with Body Dysmorphic Disorder…I was truly my own worst enemy at 16.

Now that I am morbidly obese, and a plus sized adult woman, no longer a teen with growing bones, I am living in Recovery. At 22, I’d had enough of ED. I put my eating disorder behind me. It wasn’t easy. It took some years of strong therapy, including an Intense Outpatient Group Therapy program that I participated in for 6 months, and a little Prozac for the depression. Its strange that I can be so overweight and not hate myself, not live miserably, and not be suicidal (Based on who I was back then). I have truly come so far! I love myself in the now. One of the key principles I learned in Group was that OUR BODIES ONLY RESPOND TO LOVE.

Then why am I so heavy? 

First of all, I am genetically prone to obesity, I am happily married to a man that loves to eat…because of this, I kind of let myself go a little bit. However, I didn’t relapse. My dad lost both legs to Diabetes in 2007, there was a lot of drama for all of us to say the least. These past 7 years, and the 5 of them which I have been married, have been beyond difficult for my family and I. I stopped truly exercising all together. Also, during about the same time period, I was taking an extra drug for my Bipolar disorder that causes weight gain, or makes it difficult to shed weight all together. Its been a little over a month now that I have been off of that drug, and my metabolism just may have revved up a bit! My therapist and my psychiatrist both say that I am doing exceptionally well, and everyone agrees that I have finally achieved optimum mental health! I am working on the body now to achieve it in the flesh! It wasn’t until January of this year that I hit the treadmill up to see what it has to offer me now. I am seeing results already! Now that I have added physical activity to my already positive mindset, I’m on fire. There are days when I am a little lazy, tired, or just, bleh. I’m human. If there was a single cure for being heavy, it would have been found by now. Look at Oprah Winfrey! She has all of the money, personal trainers, chefs, and coaches! She’s a human. Fitness is a journey, diets don’t work because it must be a new way of living.

For the most part, things are really amazing now in my world.

*Blessings*

-Amanda