addiction, Eating Disorders, encouragement, Faith, Hope, Mental Health, self esteem, success

Soul Carrier

My body was never good enough as a teenager and into my early twenties. I had this poster of Britney Spears I held as my high standard. As close as I got…even being able to buy a single digit size 2 piece, It did NOT look like the poster! I absolutely did NOT look right. I shed so many pounds! I even did some toning and kickboxing and still no.

The fact is, not everybody’s body is gonna look like the 18 year old Britney Spears centerfold that I kept as a measuring tool!

I would NEVER accept the reality that only a small percentage of women have the physical makeup capable of pulling off a bikini look like hers.  But now, looking back as a 30 year old woman, I feel like a caged bird set free!!!

I found Recovery from my eating disorder at 22, but it was when I finally considered myself as my own unique type of beauty that things began to change. My stubborn self-criticizing mind fought it so hard. I resisted this new way of thinking to the max and then some.

Basically, to sum it up.,..

Through years of Bulimia, depression, therapy, Bipolar hospitalizations, eating disorder outpatient groups, and constant comparing myself to other women (famous and non-famous) I have learned that I am enough. I am okay. You see, for me it was all about rejection. The lies of the Devil himself led me to constant negative thought patterns, 24/7. I hated my life, my body…i hated myself. I was going against myself. My own worst enemy.*

*Note: I was NOT my own worst enemy. Satan, the devil himself was…and is now for everyone.

One day I had an awakening. This body of mine that I hated, the very cause of my unhappiness,  that I even self harmed over the years, was more than my body.

This is my Soul Carrier!

My flesh that I walk in and live in every day of my life contains something so delicate, so precious, so much more…

My Soul! My TRUE Being is operating from inside my now plus-sized, unique body. Becoming a Christian makes this the Temple of God. I am not my own. I was bought at a price. Though I didn’t believe that for years, the freedom I have NOW within the knowledge that I was believing lies…is priceless. Yes, ultimately it is

Jesus = freedom. You know in the Bible there’s a verse for this feeling.

“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 4:7

It is possible to absolutely hate yourself, what you look like & think your life is over…and still overcome it all to find peace that is out of this world. I’m here to tell you it can be done, no matter what the circumstances. Everybody has their own personal story and journey. All of the clothes I bought in debt, gym memberships, and all other attempts to perfect this look i had in my head, totally don’t have to have ’em! I am beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God Himself, just as you are! Shopping sprees, binging on sweets and stuff only puts a Band-Aid on the pain. There is relief. Peace, out of this world.

abuse, Life, Love, Mental Health, People

Things I learned.

It wasn’t until I was taking flowers out of the 3rd pack of tiny annuals that I began to dig a little deeper. I was growing tired of going through each of these flowers individually and caught myself in a rush to just get them in the ground and off the porch.

Then it dawned on me. Those little flowers are a teeny spec of our God’s creation…and the dirt all over my pants and in my fingernails was a part of His earth. The earth that He lent to man. The earth that I take for granted everyday and simply walk on. I slowed down as I pondered. I was handling something so tender and beautiful. This is but one example of how we can so easily get caught up in the worries of life and miss out on the precious lessons and hearing God. Not hearing Him audibly, but in Spirit deep inside.

The beauty of God is everywhere.

All of Creation from great oceans to blades of grass sing His name. And He shares it freely.

As the popular verse says “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” in John 3:16…God is love.

This love is endless and ready for you even in this moment.


I have a very important message for you tonight. Yes, YOU reading this 🙂

You are not a number. You have name. You have a story. You are not your past. You are precious in the eyes of the Most High. You matter. Though I don’t know you at all, it’s still personal. We are all the same deep down inside. All capable of the same crimes, yet all worthy of unconditional love…regardless of life experiences and what we’ve been told. That’s what God says. Give Him a chance and He’ll give you peace beyond understanding, heal the deepest of wounds, and make you brand new. He’s got a place ready for you in Heaven, a Mansion along the golden streets. Think about it. There’s only one way-through His Son, Jesus Christ. The bridge from the sinful flesh of man to the Father and Creator of all. You are destined for greatness. You are made for more, dear one. God bless.


Faith, lifestyle

I’m a Brand New Girl

T. Suzanne Eller By SUZIE ELLER

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)

I listened as she shared about past hurts that still ached. They affected her every single day.

I wanted to fix it, but knew I was powerless to do so. I prayed silently for God to heal the damage that lingered from so long ago.

Years and years ago.

There’s no judgment here, because there is no timetable for healing. It’s not a race. Everybody’s journey looks different.

Yet what I heard this woman saying was she was tired of feeling the way she did. She was frustrated that her past continued to affect her current relationships and the way she viewed herself.

In today’s verse, Paul shares a powerful truth: Because Jesus died for you, you are free to die to your old life.

Your old self.

Your old past.

Your old way of thinking.

Your old entanglements.

Your anger over old events.

Your hurt over old words spoken over your life.

And new is free to emerge in its place.

I told my friend I couldn’t remember the day or the hour when I finally felt “new.” Instead, like one season passing into another, I began to shed the old as new ideas and behaviors pushed up through the soil.

Sometimes it surprised me. Like when the old stories were brought up and I didn’t need to engage in them anymore.

Or when I thought about an old memory, and it was just that — an old memory. Something I couldn’t change, but that could serve as a teaching marker — leading me to do better with my own children, or in my choices, or with people I love.

Sometimes I was amazed at how confidently and easily I connected with others. I’d bravely step out of my comfort zone — not realizing until later it was courageous.

I’d look around startled, and think: Was that me?

Yes, yes it was. It was the new me.

I love how one version of the Bible words the last part of our key verse: “The old life is gone; a new life burgeons!” (2 Corinthians 5:17b, MSG).

The word “burgeon” means to spill out or over with newness. To multiply. To flourish!

In verse 18, it says that this burgeoning newness is a gift from God as He reached to heal those who had been hurt by sin (whether their own sin or that of another), and brought them back to Himself through Christ.

That day I asked this woman if she’d consider receiving that gift of newness, and she wanted nothing more. What a beautiful first step.

This gift is for all of us. It’s for you.

You receive it as you walk closely with Jesus, following His lead. Letting go of the old as He gently shows you how.

You receive it as you remove your focus from the person who hurt your heart to a God who treasures you.

You receive it as your story expands to include the new chapters ahead.

You receive it as you begin to break the patterns of the past, no longer doing what you’ve always done, or thinking the way you’ve always thought.

And splish, splash, something begins to burgeon. You’re becoming a brand new girl.

With a new life.

With a new way of thinking.

Heading in a new direction.

With a newly mended heart.

Father, I am tired of the old. You are bigger than the past. You offer a gift of healing and I receive it. I won’t rush this, but allow You to heal layer by layer. Surprise me, God, with what You desire to do inside of me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

2 Corinthians 5:14, “Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life.” (NLT)

If you’re looking to move forward and find healing for your deepest hurts, Suzie Eller’s book, The Mended Heart: God’s Healing for Your Broken Places, might be helpful for you.

Learn more about how to replace the lie that you’ll never heal with the truth that God can restore your heart. “Get Past Your Past; 8 Scripture cards to Replace Your Pain with His Promises.” Sign up here!

When your heart begins to mend, it’s not a race. Don’t compare your healing journey with others.

Instead, celebrate one new thing God has done in you recently and thank Him for what’s to come.

© 2015 by Suzie Eller. All rights reserved.


2015, abuse, Bible, Christianity, current events, Depression, Eating Disorders, God, Jesus, Mental Health, news, Personal Journey, Prophecy, space

Freedom In Oppression

Most people seem to get their News reports from mainstream media…

CNN, Fox News, CBS, ABC News, The New York Times, MSNBC, Google News, NBCNews, The Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Newsweek, and TIME are several prominent sources for the news in my country, the United States. Whether you’re sitting at the table with a cup of coffee, standing in line at the grocery, trying to stay awake in a waiting room, or even in the patient chair at the dentist, there’s reading material. Televisions. Current events are being reported everywhere. You may not have it at the time, but somewhere someone else has connections to what’s being reported as news in today’s world.

I’ve noticed over the past year that a lot of people seem to just avoid the news, almost like its irrelevant to their lives. Perhaps they aren’t considering the fact that what’s going on around the world affects them in a local way, whether it be very obvious or not. There are tons of sources for news, to find out what’s going on around the world today. The very popular news sources listed above aren’t the only ones…

I am not a conspiracy theorist, but I do believe that everything in this world deserves a second glance. Deception, delusion, and distraction are very real, alive and well in today’s world. I have personally never been into the news or keeping up with current events until over a year ago. I began paying attention to science as well because the world events and even the events of space were significant to my faith.

A whole lot of people alive right now are oppressed.

Oppression: To keep down by severe and unjust use of force or authority, or

To cause to feel worried or depressed.

We are all troubled in various ways to various degrees. From depression and struggles of the mind to being taken captive in the flesh…captivity of the mind or the body, or the stripping of freedom…

You’re online right now. Check out YouTube. Bible Prophecy is coming to pass. A great example would be the one I stumbled upon today.

The Destruction of Damascus seems to be in the works (As described in Isaiah 17)


Now is the time to seek freedom. So many people around the world today can tell you that the freedom(s) they’ve known are fading away or are obsolete. Where is hope? What are you counting on and hoping for? What can bring you comfort?

“He who the Son sets free is free indeed.” (John 8:36)

The truth is growing more and more scarce everyday. This is not the world I grew up in. Even our sun is getting tired…

Everything here is temporary. Flesh returns to dust. Have you ever considered there may be more?

This message is written to offer hope, to let you know that even in a world full of chaos, you can still have peace. In Jesus Christ.

Seek Him while you can.

God bless always

abuse, addiction, Bipolar Disorder, Christianity, Depression, Eating Disorders, Faith, God, Hope, Inspiration, Jesus, Personal Journey

Deliver Me

There is hope. There is so much more. We just have to be willing to let the light in. To open ourselves up to the possibility, to the very thought that we are worthy. We were created by a Higher Power. His name is God.  And no matter how strong the pain, opening the eyes of our hearts and seeking the truth, it is then that we find…

The way to Heaven is in Jesus, the Son.

*I created this poster with lyrics by Matt Maher & Google images.

addiction, Childhood, Christian artists, Christianity, Church, Confidence, coping, current events, death, Depression, divorce, Eating Disorders, end times, Faith, fears, God, Health, Help, Hope, Inspiration, Jesus, Love, Marriage, Mental Health, Mental Illness, prayer, Suicide

You Can Come Home

Some turn to a bottle
Some turn to a drug
Some turn to another’s arms
But it seems like it’s never enough…

Lyrics via Turn Around by Matt Maher

God is ever waiting with open arms, my friends. Call out, let your worries be made known. Give yourself to Him and He will give you Living Water…so that you never, ever thirst again…

Inside of a world at war with itself, amongst people at war with themselves, we can still yet have inner peace. Peace that surpasses understanding. A Part of The True Living God inside of us. That is beyond exciting! And motivating, and so encouraging… 🙂

*Image/lyrics combo via Christian singer/songwriter Matt Maher & the aid of Google.