addiction, Childhood, Christian artists, Christianity, Church, Confidence, coping, current events, death, Depression, divorce, Eating Disorders, end times, Faith, fears, God, Health, Help, Hope, Inspiration, Jesus, Love, Marriage, Mental Health, Mental Illness, prayer, Suicide

You Can Come Home

Some turn to a bottle
Some turn to a drug
Some turn to another’s arms
But it seems like it’s never enough…

Lyrics via Turn Around by Matt Maher

God is ever waiting with open arms, my friends. Call out, let your worries be made known. Give yourself to Him and He will give you Living Water…so that you never, ever thirst again…

Inside of a world at war with itself, amongst people at war with themselves, we can still yet have inner peace. Peace that surpasses understanding. A Part of The True Living God inside of us. That is beyond exciting! And motivating, and so encouraging… 🙂

*Image/lyrics combo via Christian singer/songwriter Matt Maher & the aid of Google.

2014, America, Anorexia, Anxiety, Autobiography, BDD, Bipolar, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Bulimia, Christianity, Confidence, coping, Coping with death, coping with death of a loved one, Depression, Eating Disorder, employment and mental illness, end times, finances and life, God, Health, Heaven, Hope, humanity, Inspiration, Inspirational quotes, Jesus, Life, Love, Mental Health, Mental Illness, My Life, People, Personal Journey, self esteem, Self Help, short life, true happiness, who i am

You Are Not Beyond Hope! :)

You are not over. Do not give up or give in to the negative thoughts and struggles in this life! You can get back up. It may take a day or two, a couple of weeks, or however long-but anything is possible with God. You got this! Have a great day today, my friends!

Sending love and hugs 🙂

Amanda

 

*Image via Facebook News Feed.

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Trying To Stay Slim Was Grim: Manifesting An Eating Disorder During My Developmental Years

The majority of these images are…me from a toddler to a high school student, but the four pics on the right are celebrity pop stars who were just getting started and raging during my developmental years. They were part of the manifestation of my eating disorder.

Society and The Media

From Britney Spears, The Spice Girls, Willa Ford, and Christina Aguilera, it doesn’t matter who or which one…I did not measure up to the likes of ANY of them! I just wasn’t born with pop star genes. This was unacceptable. My stomach just would not tone to look like theirs. These women were walking charisma, breathing beauties, and *perfection* at its best. I just didn’t match up.

I just came up with this idea tonight and thought I would create a collage based on the feelings and experiences of a major part of my youth. It wasn’t these celebrities alone that led me to harmful, self-destructive behaviors, it was rejection.

Love

I was a nice “Church Girl”, very much in love with a little high school ladies man, the rebel, the biggest flirt, the cockiest one, the leader of the pack. We knew each other for years in school, and he toyed with my heart strings, sending me all sorts of mixed signals. Perhaps he was really into me? He broke my heart when he showed up at the Sophomore Homecoming dance with another girl (after declining my invite with the response that he just didn’t feel up to it). Ouch.

I guess I could just say that this guy chose a very outgoing young lady over me. My actual first love ironically ended over similar issues. Being a good girl felt really bad. So yeah, love was never a friend of mine for a very long time.

Shopping.

The mall was one of my biggest opponents as well. Just when it wasn’t hard enough facing those teeny chicks my age shopping for clothes, laughing, talking about the lives that they had…it only got worse when I tried the clothes on. Dang.

Mirrors were cannonballs fired from the dark side. They were flaming arrows that stung me deep, down into my soul. For years I used a garbage back to cover much of my torso until I would heal up mentally and get in shape physically, becoming an entirely healthy young woman. Also, I learned in my darkest hours that numbers on scales can really mess with our troubled minds. So, my progress was tracked by being weighed backwards by medical professionals or my mother. Recovery is a tender thing to find.

An Eating Disorder, accompanied by an eating disordered mentality, body dysmorphic disorder, lack of  self esteem, shattered dreams, and a broken heart is a whole lot to swallow…

I’m here though!

I am here to tell you that its not over and that you can overcome your disorder or even now like myself, overcome any dark memories or emotions that creep up now and then regarding it all. You are going to be okay, I promise. When we fall down we just have to take a minute to sigh, dry our tears, and then gather our things, get up, and head on out. We were meant to enjoy this life. Its people, society and the media that teach us we are defect. God does not make mistakes. Hold your head high. You are beautiful!

 

 

 

Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, coping, death, Depression, Eating Disorder, Hope, Inspiration, Jesus, Life, Love, My Life, Personal Journey

Looking Up: We Can Overcome The Pain.

Distractions keep us from living our best, from thriving and carrying out God’s plan for our lives.

When we’re busy hating our bodies, our jobs or lack of a job, financial situations, and whatever circumstances life may bring, we miss out. Precious time slips out of our hands. Every moment, every memory and all gifts from above can go unnoticed and under-appreciated. Looking down at the ground when you’re holding a grudge can delay your miracle, your blessing. Instead we must look up.

Looking up into the sky and its various cloud shapes, breathtaking sunrises and sunsets, at the greatness of the mountains, and intimidation of the oceans and waters of this world, we can see Him. There’s evidence all around us and wherever we may travel on the earth that there is something bigger than we.

Today I am praying for a calming over my mind, body, and spirit. Worrying sometimes can really make anxiety grow. It’s beyond comforting to know that there is God, and He can wrap His arms around us all, with such a healing embrace. Sometimes, when I think of it, at night and something’s on my mind, in prayer, when its just me and the pillow in the dark, I ask Him to hold me, and just cradle me with love. I always sleep the best when I do this! 🙂

I see and feel God’s love, and I just wanted to share it with you. The greatest gift I’ve ever received was the gift of the Truth. The great news that God’s Son Jesus came to earth and lived as a human being, and still in these days knows exactly what it feels like to hurt, and even to cry.


*image via Google

-God bless!

~Amanda