Personal Journey


When you ask The Lord Jesus Christ into your heart to become your Savior and Lord of your life, something amazing happens! Almighty God puts His Holy Spirit inside of you to live with you forever and never leave you nor forsake you, to help you in all matters until you meet with Jesus in Heaven or in the soon coming rapture of the Church.

THE HOLY SPIRIT, LIFE ITSELF  is placed inside of your earthly being!!!!!! You are then what the Bible calls quickened, or:

Primarily, to make alive; to vivify; to revive or resuscitate, as from death or an inanimate state. To make alive in a spiritual sense; to communicate a principle of grace to. To revive; to cheer; to reinvigorate; to refresh by new supplies of comfort or grace. To become alive.

Accept this beautiful, live changing, prison shaking gift today! Find rest for your soul in JESUS CHRIST alone! Nothing can or will ever satisfy you like Jesus Christ The Son of The Living God. Trust me, I know…

Don’t be left behind for the 7 years of hell on the earth about to break out any moment now when what is called the rapture of the Church happens. This is called The Tribulation period or time of Jacob’s Trouble and it is where God returns His attention to Israel. The Jewish people were blinded for the rest of our sake (The Gentiles) so we could be saved as well by The Blood of Jesus in His death on the Cross and resurrection on the third day. If They knew Jesus was The Messiah they would not have crucified Him.

Whoever else that does not believe in JESUS CHRIST and belongs to God, indwelt by The Holy Spirit, will be left behind for this nightmare. So many people are going to be left behind. PLEASE don’t be one of them!!!! Most will perish, and if they die in their sins unready to meet God being covered by The Blood of JESUS, they will surely go to hell forever. This is a hard message, but I want to tell you the truth and maybe offend you to help save you from FOREVER in the lake of FIRE! Eternity in Heaven is going to be AMAZING!!! DO NOT PUT IT OFF! Cry out to JESUS TODAY!!!

Above is just an example of a prayer you could pray to God to ask JESUS to be your Savior and save you from being FOREVER in HELL and also the 7 year Tribulation about to come on the whole earth. Just cry out from the heart and you have to really mean it! This is NOT a 1, 2, 3 believe after me kinda thing!!! IT IS A LIFESTYLE! SO, FOLLOW JESUS NO MATTER WHAT!!!



Personal Journey, porn

Sexless Marriages Are Demonic

By Shellie R. Warren on March 18th, 2010

“Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”—I Corinthians 7:3-4 (NKJV)

“Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder . The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again . Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.”—I Corinthians 7:2-6 (Message)

“A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt everyday.”—Andre Maurois

“If marriage is your object, you’d better start loving your subject.”—Author Unknown


Oh, trust me. You ain’t the only one holding your breath on this one. Even as I am typing there is a part of me that’s like, “God, are you sure you want me to address this?” However, I know it must be done. If it makes you uncomfortable, don’t shoot the messenger or the message. The Word says that who God loves he chastens (Hebrews 11:6) and so if you end up feeling a little beat up in the end, just look at it this way: He must love you a whole lot.

Before I get started, let me also address a couple of other points. Interestingly enough, from time-to-time, I will get devotional requests. This particular topic was brought to me by a husband who has been having issues surrounding this area of ministry (and yes sex, with your covenant partner, is indeed an act of ministry, which is nothing more than holy service). However, I wasn’t completely at peace until I received a few more “head’s ups” surrounding some other couples who are struggling in this same area.

I remember speaking to one of my spiritual mentors and asking him if I was qualified to address marital issues since I am not (yet) married. He took me to the very author of the lead scriptures for today: Paul, a single man. Just last night, I was talking to someone via email. She was asking my opinion about something. What came out of my mouth, trust me, was not me but God (because Shellie loves to give her opinion…God’s been getting on to me about that lately, though): “You should be concerned with godly counsel, not human opinion.” (Proverbs 12:15) So, I guess, after doing some praying and biblical research for confirmation’s sake, that qualifies me to pen this devotional because I am going to do my very best to keep this as Word-based/Shellie-less as possible.

Oh, and one more thing: I debated on whether I should send this being that there are a lot of single people on here and I didn’t want to be a stumbling block (Romans 14:13) to anyone by tempting them with too much information on subject matter that they are yet permitted to partake in. But, if you are called to be married, this also means that you are called to be sexually active with your mate and once you enter in, both are irrevocable (Romans 11:29). So, with that said, if you are getting prepared in every other area to be a blessing to your future spouse, this is one that cannot be overlooked. I pray that you will read this will spiritually mature eyes so nothing will be carnally or prematurely ignited within you. Trust me, as I have been purging my own self of past sexual sin, if there’s one thing I’ve come to realize is that single sex ain’t nothing like married sex, anyway. Like everything else the Enemy brings to us, it’s self-centered and selfish (John 10:10): You can put him/her out of the bed when you want to, have sex when you feel like it, move on when you’re ready. NONE OF THIS APPLIES TO THE MARITAL BED.

Just yesterday, I heard a man say (shout out to Elder Peterkin), “Everything the devil tells you [to do] will be centered around you.” When you are married to someone, nothing, even the pleasures of sex, is about just you. This brings me (finally) to the message for today.

Since the Garden of Eden, the Enemy has done his best to defile two of God’s greatest gifts: The Seventh-Day Sabbath (Friday sunset to Saturday sunset—Genesis 2:1-3) and sex. Now, one day, we’ll get into the Sabbath and how, like so many other things that we have used/abused due to our ignorance and convenience, it has been widely defiled. Keeping a commandment is a non-negotiable issue (I John 5:2-3, Matthew 5:19), but even if it were up for discussion, it’s amazing how many other “Old Testament doctrines” we adhere to (like tithing, for instance: Malachi 3). Please do not be wise in your own conceits (Romans 11:25—AMP) or caught up in the vicious cycle of man-made traditionalism. When God said to “Remember the Sabbath Day”, to “not work” and to “keep it holy”, it didn’t mean unless your pastor, grandparents or particular denomination says otherwise. I don’t find it to be the least coincidental that the Fourth Commandment says “Remember” rather than “Thou Shalt Not” (like the other nine). Something tells me God knew that the masses would soon forget his hallowed day. That doesn’t mean he did or will. When it comes to serving God, the majority rule rarely applies (Matthew 7:13).

But this isn’t about God’s first gift to mankind (rest). It’s about the second (sex).

Genesis 2:18-23 tells the story of the creation of the first woman, whose name before she sinned was actually just that: Woman:

“And Adam said: ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’”—Genesis 2:23 (NKJV)

Remember, Adam was given permission to name everything in the Garden, which is why he had the right to give “Woman” her name (Genesis 2:19). The story goes on to say that he was instructed to leave his father and mother, be united with his wife, become one body with her and that they were naked and not ashamed (Genesis 2:24-25).

Sex? Sex is good. How do we know this? Because God made it.

Godly sex? The Enemy hates it. How do we know this? Because God made it.

It would take more time than either of us have to walk through all of the horrors that came from ungodly/counterfeit sex after sin came into this world (Lot and his daughters, Samson and Delilah, Amnon and Tamar, David and Bathsheba, Solomon and the free world), but you can best believe that just like today, to defile this gift was one of the Enemy’s greatest missions because he was, and still remains to be, threatened by its power; not just because of what it does for humans spiritually (which we will get to in a moment), but physically as well:

“A good sex life is an important part of an individual’s overall health,” says Mark Schoen, Ph.D ., director of sex education for the Sinclair Intimacy Institute. “People who have a good sex life feel better [mentally and physically].”—(

“Sex stimulates the immune system,” says Dr. Deborah Anapol, PhD, author of The Seven Natural Laws of Love. “Recent studies show that regular sex makes you less vulnerable to colds and flu. And for romantic types, tell your partner that prolonged, deep kissing has been shown to lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels in the long term. In the short term, kissing releases bacteria that stimulates the production of antibodies, which help fight off infection. Even handholding, the New York Times recently reported, can bring immediate stress relief to loved ones.”

“Orgasm triggers oxytocin release, causing you to feel more relaxed yet energized with a clear mind,” says Dr. Jacob Teitlbaum, MD. “Sex [also] triggers the release of a growth hormone that aids in weight loss and pain relief, studies show that having sex three times a week will leave you looking up to 10 years younger,” he adds.

Remember when I shared awhile back that like the Holy Trinity (God, Son, Holy Spirit), we are apart of a trinity as well (mind, body and spirit)? When the Word says that the Enemy seeks to steal, kill and destroy, but that Christ came so that we could have ABUNDANT LIFE (John 10:10), husbands and wives, do you think that means everywhere but your bedroom? I most certainly don’t.

I recently read that according to a Chicago study, married couples have sex about 61 times per year. Do you want to know the first thing that came to my mind? “Hmm, I always heard that the devil never takes vacations.” If there are 365 days in a year, and if the Enemy continuously seeks to steal, kill and destroy everything of God, including sex and marriage, I wonder if that is enough. Of course, there are always exceptions due to scheduling, age, illness, etc. but overall, if you read what Paul recommends as the dosage for sexual relations between a married couple (unless they are mutually praying and fasting), and if you trust that ALL SCRIPTURE is God-inspired (2 Timothy 3:16), I would have to say that America’s average is not nearly scratching the surface of sexual need.

Hebrews 13:4 says that marriage is honorable (of high rank, dignity, or distinction; noble, illustrious, or distinguished ), that the marriage bed is undefiled (free from stain or blemish; blameless; faultless; pure; wholesome; correct; respectable; trustworthy; guiltless) and that it’s only those caught up in the lifestyle of fornication or adultery that God will judge. Ironically, because God does all things well, Romans 8:1 tells us that there is no condemnation in Christ. Did you catch the last synonym listed for “undefiled”? It was “guiltless”. When you are married, Matthew 19:6 says that the two become one and because it is something that God has joined, it is something that no man can separate. This means that in the marriage bed, there is to be no guilt ( a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined), or condemnation (an expression of strong disapproval; pronouncing as wrong or morally culpable).

So why are so many couples going without this blessed gift that God has given them? Oh, to the carnal mind, I’m sure the list is longer than most of us realize, but in my prayer time, there was one essential thing that God continued to bring to me. Single people, many of us are not yet married because we have yet to master something that is the foundation for any and every healthy relationship, especially marriage:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself.”—Luke 10:27 (NKJV)

“Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who love s another has fulfilled the law.”—Romans 13:8 (NKJV)

When you become one with another individual, God gives husbands a very specific instruction concerning love:

“So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.”—Ephesians 5:28 (NKJV)

Married fellas, because some of you didn’t take the time to be patient, kind, humble, not rude (rough, harsh, or ungentle), or self-seeking (I Corinthians 13) during your singleness, it is hard for you to even comprehend how to love your wife as you do yourself—in the bedroom or out. Your wives are not simply sexual outlets to be used for your physical pleasure; they are blessings that are meant to bring favor to every area of your life (Proverbs 18:22 ). Some of you need to ask God to show you (James 1:5) how to love yourself in a godly way so that you can learn to love her better—in the bedroom or out. Remember what Paul said about love? It’s not harsh or ungentle nor is it self-seeking; again, in the bedroom or out (I Peter 3:7).

However, wives this “take heed concerning love warning” applies to you as well:

“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband .”—Ephesians 5:33 (NKJV)

God did not say “respect your husband” until it’s time for love making. No, he says that you are to do it, period, at all times. When it comes to sex, when you respect your husband it means that you give: “esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person”; “deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment”; “show regard or consideration for”; “an attitude of admiration or esteem”; “courteous regard for people’s feelings”. To respect your husband is to “adore him”; “be in awe of him”; “regard and connect with him”; “admire, notice and revere him”; “cherish, delight, marvel at, wonder at, and treasure him”.

But I don’t know your husband? He’s off the chain to the point of completely turning you off and you feel like you are out of options? Oh, God’s got a word for that, too, love:

“The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty.”—I Peter 3:1-3 (Message)

Now, other people probably have a different perspective on sex in marriage, but if you claim to be a Christian, a Christ-follower, a disciple (John 8:31), then you know that without faith, it’s impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). You also know that faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). Just today, my mother sent me a devotional entitled, “The Risk of Obedience”. When it comes to faith, it said:

“To many Christians, faith means sincerely believing something is true when you don’t have any evidence. In fact, faith is acting on what you know full well is true: God is able to keep his promise and can be trusted to do it. Faith that is only theoretical conviction isn’t faith yet. Real faith, living faith, saving faith does something about it.”—John Walker

James 2:17 tells us that if our faith isn’t backed up by works, it’s dead. Again, I Peter 3:1-3 says that there are wives whose husbands are not keeping the Word of God (may be in his finances, may be in how he manages his time, may be in his attitude, may be in the way he treats you), but you can win him over when you are good to him by responding to his needs. I don’t know one married man that doesn’t need sex. Again, Luke 10:27 says that we are to love God with all that we are and when we do that, we have the ability to love our neighbor. For a husband and wife, it doesn’t get more “neighborly” than marriage.

Which brings me to the final point for today.

I’m sure some of you were rather thrown by the title of this message, but it’s the truth, the truth makes you free (John 8:32) and some of you could stand to loosen up a bit in the sex department. The New King James Version of I Corinthians 7:5 states:

“Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Some of you don’t even remember the last time you had sex or prayed and you know what? YOU MIGHT AS WELL PUT A WELCOME MAT OUT FOR THE DEVIL TO TAP DANCE ON BECAUSE OF IT. According to the Word, you need both if this thing called marriage is going to keep the Enemy from stealing, killing and destroying your union. See, the thing is that oftentimes when we read this scripture, we think that going without will lead (only) to adultery. Yes, that is definitely a possibility and wives especially, if this consequence comes due to you ignoring this warning, your husband is not the only one to blame (again, don’t shoot the messenger). But actually, the Word doesn’t say that adultery is the only or automatic consequence. It says that you must come back together so that Satan doesn’t tempt you period due to your lack of self-control.

When you don’t have self-control, you are raging (Proverbs 14:16).

When you don’t have self-control, you are not operating in the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

When you don’t have self-control, you have the potential to become a lover of self and money, a boaster, proud, unforgiving, brutal, unloving, headstrong and haughty, a lover of pleasure rather than a lover of God (2 Timothy 3:2-4).

When you do not have self-control, you have confusion and EVERY EVIL THING in your space (James 3:16).

When you don’t have self-control, you have the potential to become a lover of self and money, a boaster, proud, unforgiving, brutal, unloving, headstrong and haughty, a lover of pleasure rather than a lover of God (2 Timothy 3:2-4).

When you do not have self-control, you have confusion and EVERY EVIL THING in your space (James 3:16).

And, when you do not have self-control, you are not able to develop things like perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness and love (2 Peter 2:5-7).

Whoa. Husbands and wives, do you now see that it ain’t a game out here? Do you see why the Enemy hates marital sex as much as he does and tries his best to keep you from having it? Do you now see what I entitled this message “Sexless Marriages Are Demonic”? What does “demonic” mean?

Demonic: inspired as if by a demon, indwelling spirit, or genius; extremely evil or cruel.

What are some synonyms for “demonic”?

Demonic: bad, crazed, damnable, detestable, frantic, insane, mad, nasty, possessed, unpleasant, vicious, violent.

Ephesians 6:12-13 (NKJV) plainly tells us:

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places . Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.”

Galatians 6:8 (NKJV) says:

“For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.”

Another one of my favorite points from the message on yesterday was that “Flesh is the soul of man that acts independently of God”. Married family, God didn’t ASK you to love your wives or respect your husbands. HE TOLD YOU TO DO THAT. He didn’t limit that to church while everyone’s watching you or in the home until the children are sent to bed, either. If you want to keep Satan from taking root in your marriage, it may sound simplistic, but HAVE SEX—soon!!! I am hoping that these 3,000+ words have revealed to you that doing so is so much deeper than the physical gratification; when you have sex with your partner you are in ministry (service), you are obeying God and mostly importantly, you are fighting the Enemy. Some of you are wondering why your spouse is so “crazed”, “frantic” and “nasty” and the truth that it’s nothing that a little sex (and prayer…for a season) won’t cure. Sometimes we can get so “deep” in looking for a solution, that we don’t see what’s right in our face.

Stop complaining about the marital warfare you are in when God has clearly given you a weapon to fight with. James 4:7 says that if you resist the devil, he will flee. Paul says that when you hold out on your partner, you give the Enemy room to come into your life. That would lead me to the conclusion that if you want to take the Enemy out, bring sex in, and DO IT NOW. He doesn’t take vacations, remember?

Even tonight. Get to fightin’.

©Shellie R. Warren /2007

Image result for couple in bed feet hanging out

I originally came across this post on

Be blessed in Jesus Name! ♥  †

Personal Journey

Suffering With GOD


JESUS is with you in the trials, on the darkest nights, and those mornings when you can’t stand to face the sunlight. There is hope for you, no matter what anybody says: your doctor, your parents, your kids, your family, friends or co-workers, people on the street and so on. GOD is The Great Physician, God knows your weaknesses and has the FINAL SAY!

Human beings make tons of mistakes every day and NONE of them are 100% reliable. We can only TRULY trust JESUS CHRIST, OUR LORD AND THE SON OF GOD! Also, the enemy Satan and his army of demons, use other people and things to hurt us. Don’t take it personally when people slander you, use and abuse you, or insult you. The devil knows exactly where to shoot those fiery darts to try and attack your faith and trust in THE LORD! That’s why The Bible says in Ephesians 6 that we must use our shield of faith to quench those fiery darts of Satan when they come at us!

How does one strengthen their faith? Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God, so read your Bible, seek The Face of God in prayer time, pray throughout the day to your God in The Name of Jesus Christ. After all God is our best friend and prayer is a conversation with our Maker! Worship Him in Spirit and in Truth! When you are filled with the Holy Spirit you don’t have to have a feel good beat to praise God Almighty because it truly comes from deep inside by The Spirit of God! You can feel His presence, just know He’s there and He loves to hear from His Child! Don’t forget fellowship with other believers at Church, Bible-studies, online, etc. We keep the fire going in our coming together!

Finally, like the poster says, our faith is made stronger in times of testing and trials. There are many things we go through in this life that make absolutely no sense or hurt with pain that seems unbearable. Just remember, when you’re at the end of your rope, that’s the perfect place to lean on your GOD and let Him lead you! He will PULL YOU OUT OF THE PIT. We just have to lean on Him and ask for His Grace and strength. Our God will fight for us. When we are weak He is strong! Though it may hurt for a while, our trust in The Lord is built and our faith strengthened while all along our relationship with Him grows ever so beautifully. We rely on our God and Maker, our Lord Jesus to get through these tough times. We are led by The Sweet Holy Spirit of GOD.

It’s gonna be okay. If you’re walking with Jesus, I promise. Be blessed in JESUS NAME!

If you do not know The Lord God, seek HIM NOW in JESUS alone ♥  †  ♥



abuse, addiction, Depression, God, Inspiration, Jesus, Mental Health, Personal Journey, prayer

Come To Me…

Soothing sounds for the weary soul. Life can be so very troubling nowadays… But we don’t have to carry the load all by ourselves. This song is so special.

Lyrics below:

“Come To Me”  by Jamie Grace

I had a dream I was standin’ on the shore
Two feet planted in the sand
Soakin’ up Your glory yeah
Saw You walkin’ from a distance
Without a hint of resistance
Had Your arms open
And a warmth in your eyes
You took my hand and You whisperedCome to me when
You’re weary and
I’ll give you hope when you’re hurting
I’ll give you rest from your burden
Come to me when
You’re weary and
I’ll give you hope when you’re hurting
I’ll give you rest from your burden now
I woke up to the weight of the world
Right back into reality
And all that’s goin’ wrong
Cuz in the midst of this chaotic life
I try to find peace of mind
But You’ve been there all along
And even now I hear You whisperCome to me when
You’re weary and
I’ll give you hope when you’re hurting
I’ll give you rest from your burden
Come to me when
You’re weary and
I’ll give you hope when you’re hurting
I’ll give you rest from your burden

I feel the weight, I feel the weight is slowly liftin’
As you close the distance
And I know, it’s gonna be okay when i hear you say
Come to me when
You’re weary and
I’ll give you hope when you’re hurting
Oo I’m gonna carry your burden
Come to me when
You’re weary and
I’ll give you hope when you’re hurting
I’ll give you rest from your burden now

The weight is lifted now


*Check out the Where I Found My Healing link at the top of my Blog for something even more uplifting….



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Go Get My Children…

Brothers & Sisters, do not grow weary. We must keep fighting the good fight until He returns. Jesus, coming in the clouds will be a terrifying shock for some, and a long awaited, sigh of relief for God’s children. So much hate, evil, and war in this world… It can’t be very long now, but only God knows the hour…Lets thank Him for blessing our country with the freedoms that we have, and pray that our nation will not fall—that He won’t give up on America, though it seems to really be giving up on Him. God bless everyone today.

abuse, addiction, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Depression, God, Hope, Jesus, Life, Mental Health

Never Ever Alone

I thought of this verse this morning after waking up with everything that’s going on in my life… zipping around in my head. I can’t make it in this world on my own. People will let you down. People don’t live forever. Heartache is a part of life. But one thing’s for sure. Even though we do not see Jesus in this world as a man like in the Bible times, He is still yet here amongst us. Like the wind. You don’t see it, but you feel it. Sometimes a breeze blows pleasantly through your hair on a warm day. Then again, sometimes the wind blows so strong nearly moving your entire body. There’s strength in it.

You don’t have to walk alone, precious one.

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You Are Loved


God doesn’t give up on us like people do.

We were saved by the blood of Jesus on the Cross, by God’s Mercy.

Personal Journey

The Well’s Run Dry…Yeah, about 4.5 years ago



“Oh baby, I’m getting ready
I’m getting ready to let you go.
My hands are shakin’, my heart’s unsteady!
Oh, how I once loved you so…

I know all the magic’s gone
Wish I had a magic wand
I would put a spell on you
You would see it as I do

-Getting Ready, by Miranda Lambert

Trouble boils yet again here on the home front. This time its a financial war. Love really is blind. I kept trying to resist all of this before it ever started…and here I am, over 5 years later. When your still voice inside tells you to let go, no matter how much you love the idea of things working out and making you happy, LISTEN!

Some problems can be worked through, while others can’t. I’m so tired of the divorce talk, and routine. I just knew that we had finally figured things out and conquered what was tearing us apart. All of the pain and talks of me leaving were over. Now this particular problem itself, will not go away. A man is supposed to be a provider and make ends meet, take care of his wife, and ultimately respect her, loving her with every ounce of his body and all of his soul… I am not a feminist. I believe in equality. I would love to work if I could…and he somehow can’t either…which is why he should not be spending all of this money like we are bringing in around 50k a year and we are far, far, far from that. There is so much inside of me screaming, but I can’t let it out-especially not on Facebook where mostly all my ‘friends’ are people in both of our families.

Unemployed people just do NOT have multiple salt water tanks! These live corals, marine fish, expensive lights etc.. are robbing us of food, the second half of the month! I am so tired of being broke. I would fair so better alone than with him. However, according to my religion I have no right to marry again because he is not dead nor has he cheated on me. So I guess I got screwed over.

I’ve prayed, there are people praying for me, no one in my Church knows the truth. I call my mother daily and complain and vent to her. I guess I am bringing her down as well. I am up here in his old hometown where his family is, and although I have my sister in her new place a few miles down the road, I am so alone.

Okay. I’m cutting this one short…saving the rest for my journal.

If you’ve read all of this, I apologize! I just had to get it out of me. The only release there is as of right now.

Decisions, decisions. How can we make this work?


-Broken housewife who has forgotten and has no idea what it means to be in love…


Personal Journey

Romance At The Reef…

Romance At The Reef...

Just an update. I am far too exhausted to post much.

In picking up where my last post left off: All has been resolved or is being taken care of.

Marriage isn’t just about falling in love.

Relationships must be nurtured to last.

I think the American Divorce Rate is like 50/50 now? Wow…

I am blessed. I have acquired so many wonderful attributes in all of the trials of my young life. There is something good to come of everything.

It was 3 a.m. and I planned last night to begin packing today. He woke me up to tell me to turn over because I was snoring. I did, but then all of a sudden I wasn’t sleepy. I was wide awake. I was just pulled from a dream. I told him what I was dreaming about and in that moment, facing opposite walls, we shared a laugh, a smile, and an I love you, despite what we both knew was coming.

I got up at 3 a.m. last night. I did some online research regarding legal stuff, and then he got out of bed as well. So, I went ahead and began bagging up all of the clothes in my closet-totaled around 10 lawn trash bags, I think. I boxed up other sorts of things in plastic totes, so many of them. I worked without stopping, and without breakfast from 4 a.m. until 9:30 a.m.
Things were intense and awkward to say the least. I mean, I went for a few hours without speaking to the one I’ve been with for five years. Not a word…

Long story short…
All is good. Life is good!
I am happier!
We did some hardcore communicating, lots of dialogue!
Our growth as a married couple is back in motion!

Successful marriage is about falling in love over and over again with the same person. I’ve not only read and heard that at multiple places, but I agree. We cannot let special things become ‘common things’. Its easy to get into the routine of things and forget why you fell in love to begin with. We must remember WHY we fell in love, always.

I believe everything happens for a reason, and that I’m still here in our home for a reason. I’m in love, and am bound spiritually, and emotionally to this man, not just in the flesh.
This is not my photo. However…my husband and I are very interested in taking a bunch of shots like this during this coming summer and maybe even later on this spring, somewhere.

Don’t give up.

No matter what you’re facing. Nothing is too difficult if you just open up.

Make yourself vulnerable.

Make yourself vulnerable to God.


*Image source: Google Images.