Personal Journey

Can’t Get Out of Bed?

If all you got left is a whisper, praise HIM, for HE is worthy!

Ask JESUS for the will and ability to get out of bed today. Maybe you want to go back to bed when you finish your cereal after reading this. Believe me, I understand that. Maybe you have grown to hate the sunlight and just can’t face the days anymore. You don’t have it in you to go to the mailbox much less the gym…

But there is hope! JESUS CHRIST is The Answer! He is The Way, The Truth and The Life! No one comes to The Father but by Him. Why don’t you surrender this day, let it all out in a prayer. Maybe you can’t leave your house, but you can cry out to Jesus. He will never ever fail you. You will NEVER be alone ever again because The Holy Spirit of God will come to dwell inside of you and He will quicken you to a new Life in Christ.

It won’t be easy, but it’s beyond worth it and it is the best decision you could ever make. Jesus said in   Matthew 11:28-30,  

28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.


The benefits of Christ are INFINITELY BEYOND THIS LIFE. The point of it all is truly the salvation of your soul! Don’t put it off another day. You don’t have to hurt alone anymore in this life. Jesus changes everything. And If your circumstances don’t change, you will have Someone AMAZING to help bear your burdens. There is life in Christ. Without Jesus you are dead. Your worst day as a Christian is incomparable to your best day as a lost sinner in a dark and dying world. Find ETERNAL LIFE and rest for your souls in Jesus alone, Beloved. God bless you dearly. Take it from someone whose been there.  ♥

Bible, Personal Journey

Bible verses about comparing yourself to others

via biblereasons.com

“One of the fastest ways of discouraging yourself and getting trapped by the sin of envy is when you compare yourself to others. God has a specific plan for you and you won’t accomplish that plan by looking at others. 

Count your blessings and not the blessings of someone else. Let God control your life and give Satan no opportunity to discourage you from the purpose God has for you. Know that all you need is Christ. Set your mind at peace by focusing on the Lord.”

Image result for rugged cross

What does the Bible say?

(All in The King James Version)

 

Galatians 6:4-5

But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.

For every man shall bear his own burden.

 

2 Corinthians 10:12

 For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

 

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

11 And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

12 That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.

 

James 3:16

For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

 

Proverbs 14:30

A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.

 

1 Corinthians 3:3

 For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?

 

Romans 12:2

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

 

1 John 2:15

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

 

Philippians 2:3

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

 

Galatians 1:10

 For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.

 

Isaiah 2:22

Cease ye from man, whose breath is in his nostrils: for wherein is he to be accounted of ?

 

Mark 12:30

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

 

Psalm 37:5

 Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

 

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

 

1 Timothy 6:6-8

But godliness with contentment is great gain.

For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.

And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.

 

Psalm 23:1

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

 

Psalm 136:1-2

136 O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.

O give thanks unto the God of gods: for his mercy endureth for ever.

 

2 Corinthians 10:17

But he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.

 

1 Corinthians 11:1

Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

 

Psalm 138:8

The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.

2 Corinthians 13:5

Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?

 

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

 

Psalm 139:14

 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

 

Godssalvation

addiction, Anorexia, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Body Image, Bulimia, Confidence, Self Help

Beautiful

Post by Lynn Cowell

The gate called Beautiful might be the scale we hope will tell us the right number, the gym we join to become the right size or the mall we cruise through looking for the right outfit.

We go to the gate Beautiful and there we beg for what we need for that day: acceptance, approval and affirmation. It’s not enough to sustain us, though. Tomorrow, searching again, we’ll return.

With the power of the Holy Spirit we can say: “No more!” No more will we beg when Christ died to give us the acceptance we need. Let’s take His hand and look to Him each day for strength and approval.

You are perfect just the way God made you. That’s enough. You’re enough, precious one.

besaved

addiction, Anorexia, Bipolar disorder, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Bulimia, Depression, Faith, healing, miracles

What I Found in the Dark.

I spent most of my childhood, teen years, and early twenties hating my body. It was never good enough. The one year that I was able to get into a single digit two-piece swimsuit, I still didn’t look like page 23 in that month’s issue of Seventeen!!!

Discrepancy is defined as… a conflict or variation, as between facts, figures, or claims

The ideal-me I dreamed up, founded on the looks of pop stars and celebrities of my time didn’t ever match up with who I really was, nor does it now…with my current appearance and who I have become. It’s so strange to now actually be okay with who I am. I have a lot of weight to lose. I can definitely relate to Kelly Clarkson right now, currently a plus sized beauty, dealing with public fat shaming. Who are these people to tell us what is beautiful and acceptable? If the fields of the earth were covered in Lilies alone, wouldn’t it be boring? Sunflowers, Daisies, Roses, Marigolds, and all the rest makeup the perfect mix the Lord created!

I didn’t get here on my own. Being above a particular weight was NOT AN OPTION at age 16 for example. Now, I’m relaxed but putting forth the effort to achieve a healthier weight. My eating disorder and body image struggles no longer govern my life. Freedom, peace…I’ve been liberated!

You might ask how?

I sought treatment of course in both private and group therapy with the aid of medication as well. Those were essential and definitely set me on the right course, but…

The keystone element, the stream in my desert that freed me from myself…was God!

In the darkest of days, it was difficult to entertain thoughts of Divine comfort and healing from God and Jesus Christ…but it did happen. Treatment for our greatest struggles in life is such a blessing, but can you imagine how much more powerful, how better an outcome there is…when the Creator of the Universe is behind it all!?!

When I let go and let God in on my treatment, things got better. Not overnight, or even in a few months. Its different for everyone, but when I began actually trying to have a relationship with Him on my end of the line, praying and seeking His Truth…My wounds began to slowly close up-and over time, no more “Band-aids.” Patience. I was restless and ready to move on with my life. So tired of devoting so much time and effort into therapy and learning to love myself. But, you know, it paid off.

Along the road to Recovery, as I walked with God I became enlightened. One night when I had my Bible out I stumbled upon this verse that changed me forever.

Psalm 139:14…

Amen.

God is the Great Physician, the Greatest Artist..a Father to the fatherless, a husband to the husband-less. The Lord God Almighty fills in those holes you and I know all too well. I spent so much time searching for something to complete me, to make me acceptable. I had no clue that It was there all along.

Just thought I’d share this as a little encouragement to everyone tonight. My prayer is that you will step back and consider your worth, your beauty.

God bless always

-Amanda

Life, Personal Journey

Keep Moving Forward

Have you screamed into your pillow lately?

……..

What holds us back?

Why do we throw in the towel?

We don’t have to feel envy toward others for their accomplishments, their new babies, their engagements, their lavish weddings & honeymoons. Happiness is not being in a romantic relationship or being in love. Life cannot be accurately measured in terms of how great you were. Regardless of the digits or lack of in your income. Whether you have a nice net worth, or no bank accounts…we all pass away. We are mortals.

Everyone has their ups & downs in life. We have crises, remarkable milestones. We overcome, we fall down.

The car a person drives is a set of wheels, no matter what the make, model, or year. Material things may shimmer…but their joy is but for a season.

You are not defeated if you are reading this. AT ALL. In fact, you are not defeated until the day you leave this world, when the book is shut.

Next week, tomorrow, next year, before Christmas, for the upcoming dance…deadlines don’t have to destroy our hope if they’re not met. There have been at least a hand full of times where I set out to be some goal weight by a particular holiday….or date, whatever. It’s difficult to face the truth, but the truth is that our mortal deadlines aren’t always the best or right for us.  Having experienced several Mania’s over the years I know what being overly ambitious is.

What you’ve done, or failed to do does not define who you are.

You are a soul living inside a body made of flesh. We are easily breakable. Our bodies are so fragile, and so are our hearts. The concepts of jealousy, self loathing, regret…it’s all deception. The root of it all stems from the truth of good and evil in the world.

If you hate your body, remember that it is the carrier of your soul. We only get one! And your mind…be careful what you put into it. Music, movies, books, whatever. The sights, sounds and ideas are stuffed in there always. However, you can shed the thoughts and habits of yesterday if you are willing enough.

Love yourself.

 

Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Body Image, Eating Disorder, Hope, Life, lifestyle, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Personal Journey, self-help, Soul Searching

Body Dysmorphic Disorder: Why It’s So Dangerous

 

It is not uncommon to hear someone complain about their body or express dissatisfaction with a particular body part. As a culture, we are entrenched with the faulty ideas of body perfection, living in a society that continually reminds us that we are not good enough.

2062338340_75b3fc2259

Self-demoralizing phrases like, “I look so fat in this”, or “I hate my body”, have become all too commonplace. Generally, we are harsh on ourselves, judging our appearances rigidly against incomparable standards, viewing ourselves only in terms of how we appear instead of what we can do.

The Damage Goes Beyond Just Feeling Bad About Your Body

Research has revealed the damaging consequences of this mindset. It has been observed that when individuals experience poor body image, they will often turn to dieting as a solution. A disturbed body image is a significant component of eating disorders and plays an important role in the development and continuation of eating disorders [1]…

READ FULL ARTICLE

 

Article via eatingdisorderhope.com

I take no credit other then sharing the word! I have struggled with BDD and I know the pain.

I hope that this article will be helpful to you in some way 🙂

Personal Journey

The Effects of Anorexia and Bulimia On Your Oral Health

The Effects of Anorexia and Bulimia On Your Oral Health

If you are struggling with an eating disorder or know someone who is, I strongly encourage you to check out this article. I didn’t think anything of what my Bulimia could do to my teeth, growing up. Well…now I am about 29 and I see it. The dentist has told me about the damage. It has happened.

Check this article out, it could really help you, or someone else with these struggles out.

God bless.

 

Amanda

Personal Journey

You Are Your OWN Masterpiece!

You Are You OWN Masterpiece!

Dear friends,

If you are struggling with your body image, your weight, self esteem, or maybe even an eating disorder, I want you to know, you are doing great right where you are! Just keep giving it your all to find recovery, or keep giving it your best in taking care of your precious body! Look at all of the things that your body does for you (and mine too!)! Lets show our bodies the respect they deserve, give them all of our love, pour our heart and soul out into taking care of them, because this is a one time go around…this life.

Don’t let the media tell you what you ‘have to look like’ or be. There are billions of people on earth, so how can there just be only 1 good, and perfect body type!??? Its absurd. I felt I had a ‘defect’ all throughout my high school days because no matter how skinny I got, no matter how little I weighed, even at the very unhealthiest type of small that I got, my stomach would not flatten in such a way like Britney Spears’ or Christina Aguilera’s did. They were my teen idols during that time when they both had just hit it big in the early 2000’s.

We are not all made the same. There were millions of other young girls like me that didn’t have an ‘ideal body’ according to society. However, it wasn’t until after suffering a few years on my own, that later in being privileged to attend an outpatient eating-disorder help group therapy that I met others who dealt with such issues, like myself. It was such a relief! I knew I wasn’t alone because these were real people, right in front of me, and they hurt like I hurt!

You are nothing short of amazing! When God breathed life into your little body as a teeny baby, you were formed with a perfection, a beauty that could never be matched!

Now go, and thrive in your life! You are on fire, baby! You have a mission to carry out! How can you do that being depressed and self loathing? Exactly. We must cheer one another on, as the world isn’t always the most supportive. YOU and I are here for a reason! I applaud you for being YOU, who You are, and getting up this morning, and all of the effort you have even already put forth today!
I Wish you peace, and blessings, dear friend!
Sending you my love, today! From a kindred spirit! Lets do this. Lets live a rich, full life as together we learn to embrace our individuality!

xo

~Mandi

*Image source: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Eating-Disorder-Hope/83317933683

Personal Journey

The Eating Disorder, My story, Becoming the woman I am today.

Image

“Nothing Will Work Unless You Do” -Maya Angelou

In sharing this image/quote, I can honestly say that it has taken me a very long time to come to terms with it. Being genetically prone to carry fat, and taking several medications, some of them causing weight gain, I have struggled with my weight since around age 7. At that age my Asthma medications caused me to be unable to shed pounds and I was not active much as exerting myself brought about an episode or symptoms. A few years later I began to stand out in my class at school. I wasn’t severely obese but I was one of the heavier kids. We all know with weight, at times comes the of cruelty of children…adults too. I even dealt with fellow youngsters in my family name calling. It didn’t help that I was born Bipolar.

Looking back on my childhood now as an adult, I can see clearly that I was depressed a lot in the years of elementary school. I remember snow days in particular. Back in the early 90’s when the snow was thriving far more than today in eastern Kentucky, I spent snow days in my pajamas and would watch TV with my mom while dad was at work. Mom did nothing less than the best to make my childhood wonderful, and as great as it could be, but that’s another blog post. I recall she and I would take pearler beads and place them on these little plastic utensils with thin, raised pegs all on them, arranging them in a design and color scheme, then iron wax or some type of paper covering over them to harden them into place, making pretty magnets. There were happy times such as these. However, there were also a lot of sad times. I recall playing video games on my Super Nintendo alone in my room, staying in and drawing pictures while other kids would be out building snow men, which I couldn’t because it exacerbated my asthma. Art became therapeutic and I developed somewhat of a talent. This talent I used to express emotions from that point on, many of them as resulting in my difficulty to communicate, fear of rejection, and negative experiences.

I will never forget when I was a little chubby girl with glasses (because my left eye tended to draw inward) when my grandparents moved out of the house next door to ours and in moved an elderly couple, Chalmer and Mary. Mary was a sweetheart, always walking Benji their pet Pekinese dog. Chalmer, however, not so much. When he would be out in his yard doing lawn work or just hanging around smoking his pipe, seeing me out playing in our yard he would call to me, and tell me I needed to “quit eating cakes and candies or cookies” as they were making me heavy or “fat”. I don’t think I told my parents the whole thing or severity of the matter. Children don’t forget things like that. In fact, it sort of scarred me for life…Seeds of insecurity were being planted in my little heart. Chalmer and Mary are both dead and gone and I am now 28, so I cannot go back and let him know just how he damaged my young mind and developing self esteem.

In my early adolescence I was able to wear contact lenses, and was quite thrilled as I felt this did wonders for me! I began to notice boys, naturally like the other heterosexual girls my age. We were all maturing and many of us self-conscious about our changing bodies. Rejection began here as I had a few crushes, and the boys I liked had no interest in me, but always fell for my best friend who was naturally long-legged and thin. I began to question myself. What was so wrong with me that no boy noticed me or wanted to invite me to a movie like the others? I wore a women’s size 16/18 I think in 7th grade. There was a major need for weight-loss or as I saw it, “room for improvement.” Sometimes guys would even use me to get to my best friend or friends and make their way into their lives, past mine.  I recall buying my very first self help book at 14. It was buy famous author Iyanla Vanzant. I do not recall the name now…but inside I knew there was something wrong. Just like every other young teen I just wanted to be accepted entirely. I kept questioning “What is so wrong with me?” The seeds of the eating disorder that I developed at 16 had most definitely taken root, and I was headed down a road of self destruction.

I remained a plus size teen until age 16 when I began taking Health as a class in high school. I was pretty unfamiliar with eating disorders and just how dangerous they were. One day as a class we began studying eating disorders in a chapter in the text book, and watched a video. This video changed my life. The video was about recovering Anorexics and Bulimics and the painful, self destructive paths they had taken to get to where they were, with such a toll that it took on their young bodies. This taught me everything I needed to know about Bulimia. It became my new ‘friend’ and I learned all I needed to know right there in my chair at school. The Health video had an adverse effect. You know, I don’t think I have ever told anyone that before? Not even a therapist, and its been 12 years now since it began.

I binged and purged my way throughout the remainder of high school and into college. I had shrunk down to a very small single digit size in juniors clothing and didn’t feel as bad about myself as before. The Bulimia act, I just knew helped me get there. I was not only purging tons of junk food, i was pouring out my emotions, as I had no clue how to deal with them in any other way. In the mean time, at 16 I fell in love. My first boyfriend! I am not even taking it there. All I need to share about this guy is that he was a very horny toad, a developing sociopath with narcissistic tendencies, and he found me to be a very intriguing challenge. The challenge? To get in my pants. He didn’t. He never will now. Haha… Needless to say, he broke my heart when I didn’t give him what he wanted as he had never, ever been rejected in that way in his entire youth (He was very experienced for his age). I had just become a Christian 2 years prior and to me it was wrong, so I stuck to my guns, and after our relationship began to get a little intense physically, I told him I couldn’t and he told me goodbye. This was devistating to say the least. I really and truly believed I was going to ‘die of a broken heart’ that night! I mean, as a young girl, like the rest of them, I grew up being taught in fairy tales that some prince would come and sweep me off my feet, we would grow madly in love, and be together forever! That, my friends, is where society has failed! That fact about society is something I loathe and could be an entirely different blog post as well… So…Rejection. Even though the breakup was about my lack of putting out, still yet in the back of my mind I felt it was weight-related.

Following my breakup with Mr. Cocky-Sociopath, I went up a few sizes. Senior year I was out of the single digits, and mad as hell. Now, a lot of this had to do with the ticking bomb of my Bipolar disorder, but that’s not what this is about. I did not take a single picture at my High school graduation. I ran to the car, I was the first one out of the building! Yep. I went out with a bang that day.

I could go on and on, but here I am now 10 years later at 28. I have learned more than I could have ever expected in this decade. About five years ago as I have mentioned before in previous posts, my dad lost both of his legs to Diabetes. This triggered a major weight gain. I did not go back to the Bulimia or eating disorder behaviors as I found recovery at 22-I just let myself go. I got married, dad fell very ill, and I stopped exercising completely. I’ve just now begun exercising on a regular basis, and am taking my health and fitness quite seriously, but not in an unhealthy or extreme manner. I do not hate myself anymore as I did in my youth. In fact, I have finally reached optimum mental health! Declared by both my therapist, myself and my Psychiatrist a couple months ago, I have come so far! I love myself. I learned through years of therapy that our human bodies do NOT respond to hate and negativity. The body only responds to LOVE. So if you want to lose weight and KEEP it off, loving yourself completely is the way to go, my friends!

I’ve been in therapy since age 16. So much has went in that 12 years. I am far more alive than I have ever been. This blog was supposed to just be a little bit of commentary on the above quote by Dr. Maya Angelou, whom I am growing more and more fascinated with every day. I’m glad I wound up here though! Writing this post was truly a nice catharsis.

Yes. We have to do the work if we want to get there! Nothing comes free, and we must bring our own dreams about! I am just now getting back to work in taking care of myself after being married 5 years and coming to terms with my father’s illness. I think I finally realize what Dr. Angelou says. My attempts to lose weight will fail unless I do my part: taking care of myself as a whole, mind, body, and spirit! Putting in positive affirmations, words, informations, readings, people, music etc.. into my mind, and filtering out the negative. I’m tending to my own personal spiritual needs as a Christian with God, and walking regularly. Someday I will run on that treadmill!

If you have read all of this, I thank you, truly! I hope that in some way you may find some inspiration from my story; my realization that my worth is on the inside, it cannot be taken from me, and I do not have to prove it to anyone. I am who I am. God made me the way I am supposed to be, and its up to me to optimize all areas of my health! 🙂

 

God bless each and every one of you today! Know that you are more than a number on a scale, a tag in a pair of jeans, who your boyfriend/girlfriend is, and all that jazz. You were made to rock!

Much love!

-Mandi

 

*image courtesy of Google images.

Personal Journey

Comparison: One of the leading causes of…problems.

Image<———-10 Years ago I wouldn’t have been able to look at this photograph for more than first glance. Why, you ask? Comparison. At 18 my eating disorder was at alive and thriving and I was easily triggered and upset. I could not stand looking at fit women in real life/in person or even in print on a magazine at the local grocery! It got to the point to where I couldn’t go into even Wal-Mart. Any public place. They were always there. Who? The skinny girls!

I know there are plenty of other celebrities who all depict being ‘in shape’ in their own way today. I picked Kim because I think she is beautiful, despite what I think about anything else to do with her or how my opinion on her beauty may differ from whatever else…Now that I have done a lot of growing up this last decade, healing and have found recovery, I can handle seeing women like Kim Kardashian displaying their bare bodies for the world to see. Zero intimidation. Whatsoever. We put our panties on the same way, maybe..lol. We are both women, given our unique set of genes, determining what jeans we would be showing off…I always thought I was forever doomed to be a bigger woman because I have the gene that stores fat. Not everyone is blessed to have a metabolism that runs at lightning speed! In fact, It seems as if Kim may have some sort of curvy gene. She does her best to stay in shape, and looks good in my opinion. I don’t watch their show or anything, and I’m not going to judge her.

Seeing this image today brought back old memories of life back when I was in my Intensive Outpatient Eating Disorder therapy…like the times when I would sit in the car and the more slim women that I saw go inside the building for our groups, the less likely I would be able to attend as well. At first. That only lasted a short while…Oh, at the pain we were all carrying around inside.

Sad thing is…so many of our young developing girls and even grown women are comparing themselves to this rich, beautiful woman, well endowed with the biggest bee-hind known to women-kind. I will admit, she is very sexy. I am a straight, married female, and I would love to have all the right stuff in all the right places like a lot of us! She is so curvy but toned at the same time, so appealing to a bunch of peoples that like that sort of thing. Its okay to admit that someone is sexy, and agree they are beautiful, and even maybe that it would be cool to have ‘bigger stuff’ in the right places…but to truly compare yourself…and say, I am not pretty like she is, or handsome like him, therefor I do not measure up…Yeah, that’s an entirely different ballgame.

All this being said, women, girls, please do not compare yourself to the few-the smaller percentage of women on earth that have achieved this physique. I honestly don’t know the exact stats on that. If you are toned and can wear a bikini, more power to you. Just be happy with the body you have and love yourself. Comparison gets you nowhere. It gets you down and that’s about it.

So, hey! Don’t go get a butt implant or a boob job because of the need to keep up with the Kardashians! Do it for yourself instead, lol.