Personal Journey

Multiple Personalities After Midnight…

Jesus has put so very many things on my heart, speaking to my spirit tonight, just what I’d call “Holy Spirit downloads” if you will.  I praise Him that I am more able to process them and handle more information now that Jesus got me off of the Lithium *led by professional medical supervision* for my good. There was a time in my life when God used Lithium to stabilize me before I was Holy Spirit filled because I was highly demonized and out of control, trying to jump out of moving cars, uprooting a yard full of newly planted flowers, cutting myself, writing Satanic things on the walls and doors of our home, etc… I admit I am still ashamed and not proud of what I have done in my body, but it’s not my body so much that He’s interested in. This flesh will surely pass away. It’s our spirit that lives on forever, whether sealed by The Holy Spirit of God or not. Heaven or Hell. It’s a choice we all make.

Godly sorrow overtook me tonight with a very heavy heart in my chest. My Lord revealed so many things to me. It’s not to condemn me or make me feel guilty but to convict me, build my character and conform me to the image of His Son.

Romans 8:29 (KJV)

For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.


The God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob has truly brought me into a new chapter of the live He’s given me. We are entering into one of the most supernatural times in history. It is now common for me to see things happen in my home that are not of the reality I’ve known these past 32 years, but I see it’s real. Experiencing things changes everything ya know? That is when we are blessed with lessons we don’t have to write down but change our lives and thinking for life. For example, I believed deliverance ministry was not of God when I first heard of it. I grew up in a very religious church and it being all new to me and deviating from the norm was beyond difficult to digest. Have you ever noticed how we like to put things in a box? That’s happened to me lately. I am guilty of casting aside things, people and situations that do not fit inside what I consider my box to be. However, there’s more. Just like how the deliverance ministry God blessed to be a part of for months doesn’t teach inner healing along side it. I know it is the work of the Holy Spirit alone and we as Christians can be called into that sort of ministry as simple vessels for The Lord, but they just don’t deal with or acknowledge it. I was the only one vocal about such a thing that I am dealing with in my heart and broken soul and the wicked way it all came about for me. It’s not all demons. There are parts of us that need healing. Jesus came to set the captives free and bind up their wounds. I think that means my heart needs healing. He restoreth my soul in Psalms 23. The soul or heart of man (mind, will and emotions) can be fractured and broken into many pieces (this is where what the world calls multiple personality disorder comes in–and by the way, mental illness is demonic).

Check out Isaiah 61:1. That’s our King! He came for so much more than the most Precious Gift of Salvation which is most important for eternal life of course. Many churches aren’t teaching this so tons of hurting people have no idea what was made available for them to take care of these things. I praise God for leading me into all Truth by His Spirit.

Broken parts aren’t a license to sin, just like grace shouldn’t be either/taken for granted or advantage of. Education on the matter is power. God said His People perish for lack of knowledge and they really are…and will if we don’t do something as led by The Holy Spirit. It was God Almighty Who even put it in my heart to ask Him over a year ago if there was a spiritual connection to the Bipolar Disorder I’d been struggling with for over a decade. Sure enough…there is. It’s taken time, heartache, and painful lessons from The Lord to come to the revelations He shares. Praise Him for it though! God uses the result of our sins, the chastening of those He loves which are His Children (see Hebrews 12:6-7) to correct us and mold our character to become like Jesus! Therefore, no pain and suffering is wasted if you are a Believer and Child of God through Jesus alone. Check out Romans 8.

Man, I could go on and on. So many blessings of convictions, knowledge, wisdom and guidance in the prayer closet tonight. I wasn’t in there long, but He met me where I was in all my restlessness and despite my hard time being still, He worked with me and had mercy in that hour. Tonight’s lesson was about intercession, bearing the burdens of others and making their needs and wants my own etc… The commandments of Jesus!!!

Matthew 22:36-40 (KJV)

36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

 

I praise His Holy Name that The Lord Jesus opened my eyes to the fact that my broken soul wasn’t fully committed to Him and following His ways, not loving others as myself also. This is not a stumbling block, just something to ponder. We are all at different places in individual callings from The Almighty. If we seek Him, He will surely answer so be encouraged tonight 🙂

I love you guys and want you to feel better and be encouraged. Some days some of us are barely hanging on and the rest of us help carry that load, then the next day or not long after, we’re doing the same for them. It’s The Kingdom of God. We are Family. No matter where you are, if you have absolutely no friends or family at all, ask The Lord and He will lead you to like minded Believers! Christians are Family worldwide! Praise Jesus for all the Benefits of Almighty God! Psalm 103 is amazing too ♥

Sweet dreams, precious ones. You matter and your suffering is not in vain.

Should you not know this Precious Jesus that we speak of as The Son of God and the only way to Heaven in eternal life, He is waiting with open arms to hear you out and accept you as you are but not leave you there in the dark. Fall apart in the presence of God. He’s not there to put you down, but lift you up out of your mess. He meets us in the darkest of places and carries us into His marvelous Light! Praise His Holy Name!

Night for now 🙂 🙂 🙂

 

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