Leviathan, Arrested Development, Double-Mindedness, Vashti, Jezebel, all the Spirit Husbands, and my rock hardened heart… Must be like billions of demons eh? They don’t operate alone. It is my understanding that they operate in groups. I’m not an expert yet, but you think I would be by now! I have no idea how the networking of demons is orchestrated inside of me. Sometimes I get mad because I see other Christians walking through life just fine…they have demons too. It’s just their demons aren’t exposed. Once you ruffle their feathers, the whole bunch acts up. My demons were uncovered this year as a result of sin. Oh what a learning experience…
It’s amazing how sin really hardens our hearts. Not only sin, but the defense mechanisms we put up when the warning lights come on that something potentially hurtful lurks ahead. Like this summer for me. My 92 year old Grandma moved hundreds of miles away and I knew I wouldn’t see her as much… The walls went up. I felt nothing. Two days before her flight I actually felt like I was in another zone in my body. Weird.
Trauma. How much trauma have you experienced in your life? For me, it began with my birth as my Mother had a Cesarean. Then the house fire at age 2 where I watched everything we had burn to the ground in the family van. The frightening nightmares that I had as a result of watching the movie Child’s Play with my teenage sister were rough… I mean, Kid Sister was tossed out in no time. I tried to give my dolls away because I just knew they were plotting against me, or just plain wicked. What a mind warping experience. Major spirits of fear and phobias.
I also experienced a lot of rejection by the opposite sex in dating/having relationships. I would fall for the wrong guy (at the time I didn’t know it was a spiritual set up against me by the enemy). At the end of junior high I pushed myself to lose so much weight. I did that and I was still not accepted the way I desired. It didn’t matter how beautiful I was, or how talented…there was an assignment against me in the spirit realm. You see, everyone hears that God has a plan for their life. I’m here to tell you that the devil has a plan for your life too. Ask God to open your eyes and reveal things to you. Only God knows the future but Satan can sniff out or sort of catch a glimpse of the blessings God has for us around the corner. This enrages him. Satan and the kingdom of darkness hate human beings because we are all created in the image of God-whether we are living for Him or not. Lately I’m beginning to see how my heart has been hardened over the years. Many experiences brought different types of pain, and with the pain emotional wounds. Only The Holy Spirit can heal your deep wounds, the ones in your very soul. It’s called Inner Healing. Google it. He’s beginning a new work in me right now, healing me up, taking down the walls ever so gently.
Being able to cry is a blessing, don’t take it for granted. One thing you can do if you’re struggling with feeling numb and the hard heart, as a Born-Again Believer you can just ask The Holy Spirit to break your heart and He will help you feel again, give you the ability to cry. The Holy Spirit bringing you to tears is freedom, Hallelujah!
No matter how many demons, It’s gonna be okay.
Falling apart is okay cuz God puts us together in new ways xoxo