So, BIG REVELATION!
After weeks of seeking deliverance and self deliverance, research, studying, and pretty much making this thing my idol (being freed from the molesting and raping demons) I think I finally got the point. All of this time God has been waiting on me to simply surrender to Him as He watched me from above as I scurried and hurried around trying to take control and do things my way. I have not fully surrendered. Jesus wants ALL of us, not 75% or however much we are willing to give Him.
I have not totally died to self and I have been reacting to God like He wanted to take my favorite toy when that’s certainly not the case. Jesus gave His ALL for me on the CROSS so I shouldn’t give Him any less than all of me. The love of GOD is amazing! I am just now beginning to understand the nature of my Father and how He is so kind and merciful. He is LOVE itself! I grew up in a pretty religious background and I had no idea what GRACE was…so far, I am drowning in the BLISS of my SAVIOR! We have to realize that we can stoop pretty low in this world. We can find ourselves doing things we never thought we would do and in places we said we would never go…The wages of sin is really…DEATH! The BIBLE is TRUE! The ONLY TRUTH under the sun!
God wants us to trust Him. I have not done that, but I am starting to. Today when the demonic attacks came upon me, I just ask Jesus to help me and take away the pain that feels like pinches and biting or the molesting. The tiny annoying torments cease instantly and the sexual attacks are becoming so much more bearable as He is removing them in His perfect way and time. I have actually moved to the backseat and let God have the steering wheel (I thought I did). It has only been one day, but I have seen my FATHER show up in such a MIGHTY and direct way…it blows my mind! He is growing my faith. I am so grateful, I don’t give thanks much at all but I am a work in progress 🙂
God is moving in my life in ways I’ve never imagined. I told Him I wasn’t testing Him but trusting Him to fight for me like in Exodus 14:14. He understands our hearts before we ever pray. He takes care of it all every time! He is soooo faithful! So this is what surrender feels like… This is peace. Thank YOU JESUS!