I have been on quite the spiritual journey in a dark sense now for pretty much all of this year 2017. It’s just about June and I feel led to blog about the matter and what’s been going on. Maybe you can relate, maybe you are not there yet. Maybe you are RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW with a sigh of relief that you are not the only one going through all of this! Regardless, through it all, we never face any battle alone. Jesus is ALWAYS there with us.
It began with research, watching deliverance seminars on YouTube, the purchasing of a couple books, studying and applying self deliverance (casting demons out of myself in The Name of Jesus, for example, the spirit of anxiety), leading to a heavier internal situation that I am currently living with. It’s like Incubus and Succubus only it does not only bother me when I am sleeping. I am praying for God’s Grace everyday.
So here’s what I’m noticing so far:
I have not yet learned to praise HIM in the storm.
I have not yet learned to appreciate this thorn.
- I am studying 2 Corinthians 12:9
Sins that were hidden are sort of coming to the light right now. I can see my life a little more clearly spiritually in this wilderness.
I have been complaining A LOT.
I have pleaded and begged GOD to take this away from me!!! So far the answer is no, but I believe He has shown me I am being chastened. Everything in heaven, on the earth and beneath the earth is subject to The Name of Jesus Christ, but the demons that are afflicting me are allowed to stay for now. I am coming to terms with this daily. I have the worst negative thoughts like “Man, I must be the dirtiest rotten sinner ever!” as I sit in self pity. There’s so much more than the actual affliction though.
I’m not quite sure how I got myself into this mess. I have learned one thing. If you go digging into and researching the spirit world or the occult anyplace, demons can and will manifest. For me, it all began at the beginning of this year when I was fascinated with the idea that there just might be a spiritual cause for my Bipolar Disorder because of some amazing points I had read online and how it all seemed to fit. I know we live in a spiritual world. There are only angels and demons, no ghosts and all the other stuff that is man made. Seeing a dead relative is actually seeing a demonic manifestation or apparition. Psychics only hear from familiar spirits, they have no special ability. Infected people can hear from familiar spirits too even if they don’t want to. This is where I believe Schizophrenia comes in. But that’s a different blog for another day I hope. Once I make it through this trial and if the Rapture of The Church hasn’t happened yet, I will certainly be updating my pages at the top of my main blog site. I have been learning so much about how we can really be set free.
I have acquired a lot of knowledge and can back it up with what Jesus said in The Bible. People can still be healed and have demons cast out of them to be free. Anyone who is a true born-again believer can do these things.
Mark 3:14-15 (KJV)
14 And he ordained twelve, that they should be with him, and that he might send them forth to preach,
15 And to have power to heal sicknesses, and to cast out devils:
Mark 16:16-18 (KJV)
16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.
17 And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
John 14:11-13 (KJV)
11 Believe me that I am in the Father, and the Father in me: or else believe me for the very works’ sake.
12 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.
13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
So much to say… On the positive side,
I am becoming more reliant upon God and therefore growing closer to Him.
My eyes have been opened so very wide. I will never see life the same again at all.
Now I’ve discovered this power is real but I cannot operate in it yet in ministry because I am being chastened by The Lord. This dark and difficult time is for my good though. I know my suffering is not in vain. It is certainly humbling. More to come later..
God bless you, and know that your suffering is not in vain. Amen.