Simple Sunday night Journal-Post

My heart is burning tonight.

I’m yearning for my Creator. I’m longing for Yahweh. So I’m venting out my heart concerning God, life & all in this blog post tonight. But before I get into what’s on my heart, I want to share some lyrics to one of the songs that I picked out, and had sung at my dad’s funeral last summer.


 I am going to a city
Where the streets with gold are laid
Where the tree of life is blooming
And the roses never fade

The Chorus:

Here they bloom but for a season
Soon their beauty is decayed
I am going to a city
Where the roses never fade

© 1929 Lyrics by Janie West Metzgar  [deceased]


The passion I have for Jesus is very real, very genuine, and exploded this year. My best friend of nearly 20 years came out with her sexual orientation, and I came out stronger, so boldly as an open, unashamed Christian, on fire for The Lord. We don’t talk anymore, but are still Facebook friends. I love her as I always have, but the things she posts there on social media are so hurtful to Christians, and to me. We all have our unique opinions & beliefs, but there comes a time when you just realize like in the Bible, what does the light have to do with the dark? She and I can be kind toward one another, but how can we hang out with so much out of sync? The issues we stand opposite on are the ones that I am most passionate about. I am not a hater, or a judgmental person. I just feel so alone in my faith-journey in a physical sense on this earth. However I must say that God Almighty has blessed me as I have met all kinds of really nice people here at WordPress, including one that has become a personal friend from a distance, Little Fawn.

My father went to be with the Lord last summer, but my mother is still a strong prayer warrior, a God-fearing Christian woman. She is my biggest fan in this world and my greatest support in all matters of life. She brought my dad, and my sister and I to the Church to know God. I am so grateful for my mom.

When we married nearly 6 years ago, my husband always said he believed in God and was open to everything I believed in and on, but not actually religious, nor a church member. Over the course of our 6 year marriage we have both grown so much as individuals, as all human beings do. His faith slowly began to decline awhile back, and now that his depression is worse, it is nearly diminished. Meanwhile, I have evolved into a more active Christian, actually studying the Bible, and doing so more. I am not a saint, I just feel alone. This is why marriage is so much more difficult for a Christian who marries an unbeliever, but love is love. I love him entirely.

In other matters in this world, I am ready for the Second Coming, and I believe we’re not too far off-but that’s another post.

Anyhoo, I just had to get that out of my system. A simple journal-post this Sunday night.

I pray everyone will have a wonderful week! God bless your health, your family/relationships, work and all 🙂

If you ever feel alone and need someone to talk to, just message me, I’m always here for anyone that wants to talk about anything.





  1. I am so glad we have connected on a friendship level as well as a sister-in-Christ level. We share so many of the same beliefs and interests. I am so glad to be your friend and sister. I will continue to keep your husband in my prayers. Keep doing what you are doing and your actions will not be in vain. Your hubby sees and witnesses what you do and how you act as a Christian woman. It is not wasted. He may be struggling, but he, too, sees and I think, deep down inside, he still believes and wants to join in and worship with you. You, as well as I, will pray and continue to pray for his depression. I’ve never been really deeply depressed, more manic then ever depressed, but I have been deeply saddened, and I know depression is like a very deep long lasting sadness. I will lift both you up in my prayers. Hold tight to the King, He will never leave you! Nor will I!!!

  2. I understand that loneliness. Just remember that sometimes God wants us alone. He isolates some of us due to the calling on our lives. When we are alone, it is actually just us and Him. God bless you, my sister!

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