This is My idea of ‘getting messed up’…
Yeah. Forget Alcohol and drugs.
Since I had my first manic episode in 2004 and began Bipolar medications, my sensitivity to Caffeine has sky rocketed! In fact, this impact is so dramatic that it sends me into a almost hypo-manic state of mind. Because I consume this stimulant (and obviously the more milligrams the greater the effect) I get this high. My mood becomes really elevated and I get all giddy, inspired, act out of character, make poor decisions, and with sky high confidence, just about believe I can fly. I never seem to have enough to say.
However, I must say that when this stimulant brings out the Bipolar in me, I am at my most creative. Its not worth going insane though. There is a strange sort of beauty about madness, but what it can do to you is ugly as can be.
If I stop for even a day, I crash…hard. I have to stay in bed all day, like yesterday. I tried to quit, and then this morning I went back to my pick me up. Ugh. Being human is a hard thing.
We all respond differently to any drug with our unique physical/mental makeups. This one just totally rocks my boat and just about sinks me.
-But no matter what we cannot give up. We must keep trying to be our best selves. So, God bless.